CSN:AFU Monday’s Top Three News Stories — July 30/07

Martha & The Muffins: Canadian

“Echo Beach”; ‘Metro Music‘ (1980)
Watch for the keyboardist getting weird, especially at 36 seconds. Yum.


.

The First Three News Stories On 07/30/07

.

Yesterday’s News Four Days From Then: This was delayed because I’ve been preparing for a special guest while dealing with a sudden growth spurt in my life activity. Next week’s going to be weird as well. So… yeah. Maybe I’ll write something aboot the electron microscope. Someone reminded me aboot how a Canadian invented that thing as well… fuck we’re cool.

.

Page Jump:
PBS; CBC; CTV

.

.

.

7pm PBS: The News Hour

1) Brown Meets Bush: It’s not their first meeting, but it’s the first with Brown as PM. It’s interesting to note that George W. Bush, arguably the most reviled American President of all time — certainly the most reviled internationally — has outlasted Tony Blair, two Canadian Prime Ministers (Jean Chretien, and Paul Martin jr.) the Spanish Dude, Jacques Chirac, Gerhard Schroeder and Fidel Castro. Anyway, Brown wouldn’t get into specifics but Britain will either be taking its 5500 troops in Iraq home over the next year, or moving them from a combat role into a teaching role. Probably the latter. Either way he’s committing more troops into Afghanistan.

2) US Troops Stay Until 2009: Why not? Army General David Petraeus told reporters that “It’s in our campaign plan… Sustainable security is, in fact, what we hope to achieve.” Two more American soldiers were killed recently, bringing the total to 72 in July. You know… Donald Rumsfeld, before the war, was fighting against Old Schoolers within the Pentagon to reform the military from one designed to fight in Europe, against the Soviets, to a smaller force designed around Special Forces and quick insertions-extractions. And, over the course of the Iraqi War, he has been proven to be right. But, because he stubbornly didn’t put a force large enough into Iraq to secure the peace — out of a fanatical devotion to his mini-army philosophy — he’ll go down in history as one of the absolute worst SecDef’s in history. That could be irony.

3) Iraqi Parliament Recessed: When the Americans said “we’re bringing democracy to Iraq” no one thought they meant Italian-style democracy. Surprise! The elected officials of the Iraqi Government are taking the month of August off in hopes of being able to continue not doing anything when they come back in September. I’ve never been convinced the Americans going into Iraq was aboot oil, but I’m pretty sure the Sunni v. Shiite mini-civil war is all aboot oil.

Back

.

10pm CBC: The National

Just A Quick Note: Heather Hiscox was filling in as anchor tonight… she’s very good at what she does, but her delivery can be hilarious. She so wants you to feel her emo.

1) Snowbird Crash Investigation: The Snowbirds are the elite flying team of the Canadian Air Force. In 2004, two of the planes collided during a high-risk maneuver. One pilot was killed. Today the findings from the investigation into his death were released… ends up the pilot, considered a young “rising star” was allowed a certain “autonomy” in regards to training due to his great talent. He had never actually performed the maneuver that killed him until that day. There were the requisite calls for the Snowbirds to be disbanded over cost and safety issues, but the fact remains that accidents, especially those causing harm or death, are fantastically rare and the Snowbirds are a valuable PR resource.

2) Another S. Korean Hostage Killed: The “Taliban” claimed to have killed a second hostage. Originally twenty-three South Korean Christian Missionaries had been taken, there has been one confirmed death. al Jeezera had obtained film of the Missionaries… not surprisingly they all looked pretty terrified. The hostages were taken from an area North of where Canadian soldiers are stationed. A Canadian General almost, kind of, explained the event… he said, basically, the Taliban are doing this sort of thing because they’re desperate. Basically they’re going after the easy stuff because the hard stuff — Canadian, British, Danish soldiers — is just too hard. The “Taliban” are demanding the release of more than 100 prisoners. I’m really interested to find out if the prisoners and the “Taliban” holding the Koreans are actually Afghan.

3) FIFA Soccer Brawl Report: People around the world wonder why soccer isn’t considered a sport in Canada and America. A few weeks ago Canada hosted the FIFA U-20 World Cup. With over a million spectators it was the largest sporting event ever held in Canada, and we’ve had two Olympics. After losing a qualifying game a bunch of spoiled punks from Chile punched police and destroyed their bus. Then, when they didn’t stop, the punks were surprised to be handcuffed and arrested. Why were they surprised? Because in their country they’re treated like Gods. One of the little fuckers, after telling anyone who would listen that he had been tasered for no apparent reason (“WTF? I was just punching a cop and suddenly I’m on the ground twitching. I don’t get it.”), admitted later to seeing one of his fucked buddies punch a female cop in the face. Other police, and security guards, were spit on and kicked in the groin… by guys trained to kick. The Chilean players still on the bus were leaning out of the windows, grabbing police officers and throwing stuff at them. Anyway, today was the day the Toronto Municipal Police released their report into their response to the mini-soccer riot, which absolved police of any guilt. Even FIFA was suitably embarrassed by the Chilean punks.

Back

.

11pm CTV National News

1) Civil Servants Get Mo Money: Canadian Civil Servants are better paid and have better benefit packages than private sector workers. This is, for some reason, news to the News People. History, even the bits that occurred ten years ago, is an important thing to consult. Fifteen years ago the Canadian Government, under the Liberal Party, decided to get rid of the deficit. But they had a problem… they really, really needed to be liked. So they cut the shit out of the Department of Defence because who, really, needs those dudes? And they cut the Civil Service because, really, they’re a bunch of bastards… but they cut so much they actually, granted a few years later, realized they needed to hire some or most of them back. Only no one wanted to work for them anymore. So they upped the salaries, boosted the benefit packages and here we are today with a Civil Service that’s still smaller than it was fifteen years ago, but 50% more expensive. So of course CTV put the blame squarely at the feet of the Conservative Party which has been in power for… eighteen months.

2) FDA Allows Avandia Sales: CTV, when Tom Clark is hosting, has a weird habit of burying the Canadian news. The American Food & Drug Administration has decided to allow Avandia, a diabetes drug, to continue to be sold despite research saying it increases your chance of heart disease by 48%. Seems perfectly reasonable to me. Diabetes is the seventh leading cause of death in Canada, and costs the Health Care system CDN$9 billion. There were one million prescriptions for Avandia filled out in Canada last year. The FDA called the research into the 48% number “inadequate” and made the decision because Avandia has “too many benefits.” All of which means Health Canada will be coming out with their own report in a few weeks which will read, probably in the conclusion, “Yeah. What they said.” 

3) S. Korean Hostage Killed: Look… despite what your Holy Book or Carvings or Walrus Penis says, if you’re going into a war zone filled with all the stuff normally found in a war zone, your God — no matter who He/She/It is — will not protect you from any of the things associated with war zones. Look. I don’t know… sweeping up bits of human or picking up some debris in order to create a better world sounds great when you’re in first-year university listening to a taped lecture from some prof who doesn’t even care enough to get to class about how magnificent Noam Chomsky is, and you’re all like “oh yeah, I am so going to a war zone to show people how to live in peace”. But bullets hurt. Then they tear your limbs off. And Noam can’t protect you when you’re outside his range of influence. And Afghans don’t read Noam. And, really, while we’re on the topic, no one else does except first-year university students with lazy professors.

Back

.

.


.

If you find a broken link, or the YouTube stuff isn’t loading
properly, let me know and I’ll find an alternative…
I’m Canadian, it’s what we do. Off the ice.

.


.

.

About Gabriel

I’ve lived in fifty-two places. I've been paid to pick stones out of fields, take backstage photos of Britney Spears, and report on Internet privacy issues. My photos have been published in several newspapers, and a couple of magazines.
This entry was posted in Afghanistan, America, American Politics, Canada, Canadian News, Canadian Politics, CBC News, Conservative Party of Canada, CSN:AFU Monday's News, CTV News, European Union, Great Britain, Liberal Party of Canada, PBS News With Jim Lehrer, US Middle East Policy. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s