CSN:AFU Week 26 In Review

Mitsou: Canadien

“Dis-moi, Dis-moi“; ‘Terres des hommes’ (1990)
A 17-year old Mitsou gets herself banned from MTV


CSN:AFU Week Twenty-Six


This Week Had Two Parts…

During the first part a dear friend came… for a visit. I hadn’t seen her in a few years as she lives in the darkest, coldest country on Earth. I spent the second part reworking some of my Blogs and dicking around with my avatar and WordPress nickname. Guess which one I’d pull an arm off to have more time with.

So I’ve got the avatars narrowed down to nine from six quadrillion. I’ve spent the past week trying each of them out. There are a couple of headshots in there… I guess someone might find them a little pretentious, but fuck them. If you’ve got a WordPress blog chances are one of these will be showing up on your site, so speak now or wait for the next change.



I have to admit that right now I really, really like the tooth. I’ve also been changing my nickname… I still really like “[redacted]” (it’s not ‘[redacted]’), it’s the name of my first blog so I’m not really married to the idea of changing it. So far I’ve tried my nickname — “Johnny Metro”; “Gabriel…”, which is my real name minus the dotdotdot, and; several variations of FTS, including F.T.S. and a bunch of lower case stuff, you know, really dramatic shit.

“[redacted]” has always been a weird Rorschach test. People have gotten really defensive aboot it… like I was telling them to fear me, like I was “The Seeds” (I’m not). Other people, mostly women, see it as “[redacted]”. I’m not sold on using my real name, because having people use it when we get into discussions actually makes me a little more defensive… weird.


The Lists From Week Twenty-Six:

Five Strangest Search Terms Used To Find CSN:AFU

5) nice fucking environment
4) bullshit in canada
3) years from 1939 to 2007
2) prostitutes hull quebec
1) If you want to see a Helen Mirren beaver

Honourable Mention: fuck sex canadian; wives fucking little boys; canadian movies suck; gary oldman full frontal nude, and; walrus penis (x4)


Top Five CSN:AFU Posts For Week 26:

1) CSN:AFU Monday’s Top Three News Stories — July 02/07
2) CSN:AFU Week 24 In Review
3) Canada: Land Of A Thousand Wives OR Instructions On
How To Become A Canadian Polygamist
4) [my other blog]:
5) CSN:AFU Week 25 In Review

Honourable Mention: Canada: Offering A Safe-Sex Environment Where Humanity Can Fuck Itself Back Together Again


The Five Blogs I Visited Most This Week

1) Forgetting Myself
2) The Rut
3) Nita: A Wide Angle View Of India
4) Postcards From The End
5) Kamangir



This Week In General:

The week started with some friends… bringing me out to a Pub — the Pub — for an Open Mike night. Even talented musicians, including music majors, should get their set down before getting up on stage. Just saying. Johnny Cash didn’t roll over in his grave that night so much as he stood up, grabbed his tombstone and beat the four corpses next to him back to death.

What else… oh yeah, one of the people who means more to me than almost anyone else came by for a visit. That was nice, but quick, much, much too quick. To be honest I can’t actually think of a time allotment that wouldn’t be too quick. That’s her red rental car in my humongous parking lot in my POTW.

We met in Toronto where she was a student and I was an unemployed writer researching a book aboot a specific period in Canadian politics, which was a mask for me writing aboot my family. It was a brutal time in my life and she talked me through it… walked me through it, sat me through it, hugged me through it, all while serving me strange drinks… she was standing next to me when I took this shot.

And that’s it. Nothing else happened this week. Not that I noticed anyway.


Photo Of My Week:

This was taken from the new observation tower… that’s my apartment just above dead centre. Hello.



This Weeks New Post:

CSN:AFU Monday’s Top Three News Stories
— August 06/07
Yesterday’s News Sometime Later: Technically the idea behind this post was to compare the news cycles of Canadian, American and British national and local news… unfortunately I haven’t been able to give it as much attention as I think it requires. Hopefully over the next few weeks I can make it work again.


Greatest Hits: Canadian Inventions — ‘The Wonderbra’
The original Canadian advertisement featured a fully dressed woman dancing on the beach to the jingle: “Wonderful Wonderbra… to be free and alive everywhere that you go, is to where what you dare anywhere and to travel with flare. We care about the shape you’re in, so does he… so does he. Wonderful, wonderful, Wonderbra.” In 1994, outdoor ads in American cities showed a model wearing only the bra with captions like “who cares if it’s a bad hair day” and “look me in the eyes and tell me that you love me.” Sometimes it can be a long way to get back to where you were. Just saying.


Coming In Week Twenty-Seven:

More News, A Movie, And Smiley Faces For Everyone

Granny Smith Apples, All-Bran with a whole wheat bagel and
a big glass of milk… mmm.


-30- banner


About Gabriel

I’ve lived in more than fifty places. I've been paid to pick stones out of fields, take backstage photos of Britney Spears, and report on Internet privacy issues. My photos have been published in several newspapers, and a couple of magazines.
This entry was posted in Canada, Canadian Music, CSN:AFU Weekly Review, Humor, Humour, Weed. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to CSN:AFU Week 26 In Review

  1. aikaterine says:

    Not ‘the tooth’, please merciful jesus not the tooth. I will do anything – ANYTHING – to keep you from picking ‘the tooth’.

    My digestive system could not take the stress of the ‘de-foodings’. My eyes would shrivel up into sad little eyeball raisins from beholding the pure fugliness of ‘the tooth’ on a regular basis.

    Please, please gabriel/[redacted]/johnny metro/whatever you want for me to call you until the end of time…I beg of you, please do not choose ‘the tooth’.

  2. aikaterine says:

    Oh, I do like either the one with the camera or the little [redacted] guy who looks like he is about to grab some woman’s breasts.


  3. Gabriel... says:

    The Tooth even looks awesome as a negative… it’s got a hell of an impact, you have to admit.

    Right now, having not slept for almost 20 hours, I think it’s coming down to “me with camera” or “gold box lid” if I go with “Gabriel…” as a nickname.

    If I go with “Johnny Metro” or “Johnny Mann” or some variation thereof, I’ll probably go with the “Exploited mohawk” or “negative Melissa Joan Hart and CCCP symbol”.

    If I end up back with “[redacted]” I’ll go with “the tooth” or “devil jumping out of my pants” (it’s from a T-shirt), only with a light blue background… just so I can say all of this wasn’t fer nuttin.

    “orange flower” and “scrap” are longshots, but “cigar me” is a possibility for all three nicknames.

    ahem… did you read what Nita wrote aboot me? She has totally made my weekend… weekend, pfft, I’ll be buzzed aboot it all week.

    I’m passing out now…

  4. aikaterine says:

    Your response to her was cute… Sitting up straighter and blushing.

    Well, for what it’s worth I am casting my vote for the gabriel/camera or [redacted]/devil pants combo.

    And while we are on the subject of pictures, you look infinitely more handsome without the beard.

  5. Gabriel... says:

    Holy crap… I must have been maxing out my karma to deserve you and Nita in one day.

  6. thordora says:

    Fucking Mitsou? Please….little warning on a monday….

    I’ve always gone with “[redacted]”-[redacted] is kinda retarded….but use what you will. Gabriel is one of my favorite guy names. I like my “handle”, but if I had of known who Theodora was (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodora_(6th_century)) I may have reconsidered and used that name, but who knows…

  7. Gabriel... says:

    Heh heh… a guy who used to hang around with us ended up as a DJ at CHOM 97.7 in Montreal. They dated for aboot twenty minutes… but that may have been scattered over a number of days.

    I could never be “[redacted]”, it’s just something people refer to me as… they look at [redacted] and, well…

    “Theodora emerged as a comic actress in burlesque theater, and that her talents tended toward what might be called low physical comedy.”

    I don’t know… this definitely sounds a lot like someone who would have “Canadians are Eh’Holes” as an avatar. You can change your nickname…

    I’m definitely not using the “Melissa Joan Hart Negative/Hammer + Sickle” or the “Scrap” avatars and this flower thing is starting to turn me into a lady. It’s probably down to the original Devil, the mohawk, the camera or the tooth.

  8. Whoops…perhaps I shouldn’t have watched that at work. If you don’t hear from me, I’ve been canned.

  9. Anita Marie says:

    I liked the tooth too- so that’s where my vote goes.

    In fact, I’d pay you to use it, but you know- I have cats to feed so you’re out of luck.

    Just for fun I was going to title a post ” Nice Fucking Enviorment ” but my Mom and my Uncles like to read my blogs and they’d enjoy that WAY to much.

    I don’t need to have that one title show up in hard copy at our next family gathering.

    I’ll send them to you for a read.


  10. Gabriel... says:

    I love “The Tooth” as an avatar as well, I’ve been thinking aboot using it for my other account… but for search terms, the “Helen Mirren beaver” thing might be my favourite so far. Dame Helen recently played Liz 02 in the movie “Queen”, ends up she’s done quite a lot of nude work on film… which, as a Canadian, somehow makes the real Queen seem really, really dirty now by association.

  11. Anita Marie says:

    ” The Tooth Rulze ”

    I’m such a clueless American … I thought the Queens clothes grew off her body, you know like something from a Sci-Fi film.

    Talk about busted bubbles.


  12. Gabriel... says:

    That’s still in development… kind of a “Elizabeth 2.0”. And, legally, it’s only within the past few years that we here in the colonies are allowed to picture the Queen naked.. she was actually a bit of a hottie back in the day. Said day being forty years ago…

    Tooth there, me and camera here… I’m starting to have a real crisis of blogs.

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