Cows On The Run


Cows are the most genetically engineered species on earth. They’ve been put through a two thousand-year breeding process until we can get more use from the species than from any other animal (even more than pigs… ever drink a pig-milkshake?). Darwin could never have used cows as examples of natural selection because there is nothing natural about a cow. Eventually this unnatural state of evolution will have to stop… sure the heightened senses, the laser vision and adamantium hoofs will be awesome, but I think it’ll get pretty obvious we can’t have animals running around with the ability to teleport long distances.

Technical Stuff: I walked past a gas station and there was a pickup truck hauling about a dozen cows. Using my trusty Kodak C533 set on landscape, and multiple exposures, I took the shot without really looking… I think my back was actually to the trailer. So, in order to get a shot like this I think you’d have to start by developing fossil fuels, then create a distribution network to get the fuel to farmers carrying their livestock in short trailers. After that it gets pretty easy.

I don’t know who sings the song, or what the title is… which is unfortunate because it’s one of my favourite songs. I think the band is “Snuff” and the song might be called “Take Me Home”, it’s from a mixed CD a friend put together nine years ago, but I lost the liner notes. There’s a little volume control on the MP3 Player Thing, but I’d suggest turning your computer up to eleven and letting something hang out. But not that… that’s not a good choice at all. That’s cool though. Yeah, that’s just right.


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About Gabriel

I’ve lived in more than fifty places. I've been paid to pick stones out of fields, take backstage photos of Britney Spears, and report on Internet privacy issues. My photos have been published in several newspapers, and a couple of magazines.
This entry was posted in Animals, Favourites, Photography, Vankleek Hill Photos. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Cows On The Run

  1. ames says:

    …and here I thought we just needed to be worried about the robot uprising…

  2. Gabriel says:

    No, the robots will enslave whoever is left after the cyborg-mutant cows are done with us… mostly the Swedes and a couple of Baldwins.

  3. ames says:

    So where does Zombie Jesus fit in??

  4. Gabriel says:

    When things are at their darkest Zombie Jesus will return to offer us salvation by eating our brains. Then we kick robot ass.

  5. ames says:

    Dude, you’re practically Nostradamus. You should write this shit down.

  6. Kitty says:

    I love this one. You’ve done a good job capturing the texture of the cow’s nose.

    Poor thing, she looks as if she’s begging to get out of there.

  7. Gabriel says:

    Hi Kitty, I like the texture of the nose as well. I also think the whiskers really add a lot of character to her… but for me it’s the half eye looking back that makes the shot. Of the three shots I took this is the only one with an eye.

    I definitely think begging is the right word.

  8. Pingback: Self Portraits I Can Barely Tolerate 006 | cultural sn:afu

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