Monday’s Top Three News Stories (BBC, ABC, PBS, CBC, CTV): 02/12/07


Steppenwolf: Canadian

“Born To Be Wild”; ‘Steppenwolf‘ (1968)


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The First Three News Stories On 02/12/07:

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(6pm) BBC World News

1) Iran Responds To American Accusations: Diplomats from the United States and Great Britain have been complaining for years aboot Iranian involvement in Iraq. Over the weekend American intelligence and military officials showed off declassified proof of recently built Iranian weapons found in Iraq. Today Diane Sawyer, a correspondent from ABC News perpetually on the verge of tears, had an exclusive interview with Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Clips of the interview were played on BBC, ABC and CBC, in it Ahmadinejad never denies sending weapons into Iraq, but he does a pretty decent job of saying ‘the Americans are stretched to their limit so, no, we don’t fear an attack’ (loose translation of the English translation). There was a BBC reporter in Tehran who reported that Ahmadinejad, in the ABC report, made a veiled threat of intensive suicide bombings against American interests around the world. Ahmadinejad has mentioned in the past that Iran has a Suicide Bomber Unit of aboot 30,000 to 50,000 volunteers called the Lovers of Martyrdom Garrison.
In the past few months Iran has announced a weapons system upgrade for their air defence, which they’ve purchased from the Russian government, and they’ve had a ‘war games’ were they claim to have tested super-fast torpedoes. The Americans, meanwhile, have sent a second Aircraft Carrier Battle Group to the region, which is a much bigger deal than it sounds because one Battle Group has more nuclear weapons than any other country on earth except Russia and — maybe — Great Britain, and more air power than any other country on earth including Russia.

2) North Korea Agreement Rumoured: after spending so much time on Iran the BBC went into “Brief Mode”… apparently the “Six Party Talks” (not nearly as fun as the name suggests) have entered the final phase… at least the final phase not involving nuking North Korea. There have been concessions regarding the amount of food and fuel North Korea will receive for not blowing up South Korea and/or Japan.

3) Clashes Over Israeli Construction Site: Putting shovels into the ground anywhere in or around Jerusalem is a good way of starting a fight. This one’s aboot a bridge that may or may not collapse without some repairs. It just so happens the bridge is pretty close to the Al Aksa Mosque, Islam’s third holiest site… seriously, how many fucking holy sites do religions need? There should be a two-site limit, everything after that gets ranked as a “Curiosity”. So there were enough protesters that the cops needed to be called, then a couple of people got arrested. All-in-all it was probably the calmest, most civilized religious confrontation in the region in a decade.

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(6.30pm) ABC: World News Tonight
With Charles Gibson

1) North Korea Agreement: “Sign Of Hope”. Four months after North Korea performed an underground nuclear test, and tried to launch a couple of medium-range rockets, the Six Party People (the United States, Russia, China, Japan, South Korea and North Korea) have agreed to give North Korea 2million pounds of Fuel, and 2million Kilowatts of power. In return North Korea will shut down its reactors, however there will be no timetable or deadline for dismantling any nuclear weapons already built. Apparently the deal almost collapsed over the weekend but a 16 hour marathon negotiating session yesterday (Sunday) sealed the deal. Most of the fuel and power will be coming from South Korea.
This is very similar to the deal former President Bill Clinton signed off on aboot ten years ago. North Korea broke that deal virtually as it was being signed.

2) Obama & Clinton: Until it becomes clear, after another sixteen months of campaigning, which of these two is going to secure the nomination for the Democrats, they’re going to be compared and contrasted Every. Single. Freaking. Day. Without discounting John Edwards, who will probably win the Iowa Primary, it’s going to be Clinton-Obama versus McCain-Giuliani in 2008. There’s this weird movement on right now in American politics… there are a lot of black-Americans who believe that Obama doesn’t qualify as an “African-American” because his heritage doesn’t go back to the slave days. Basically, Obama isn’t African-American because his father was borne in Africa (Kenya). And this isn’t some fringe thing, a lot of black-American scholars are writing articles aboot this. Right now only 20% of black-Americans plan to vote for Obama. Hillary, on the other hand, is actually attracting female voters, a voting segment that have traditionally never voted for a female candidate.
Then Australian Prime Minister John Howard, on Australian TV, said that al Qaeda would be circling November on their 2008 calendars and praying “several times a day” for an Obama victory. Obama responds by calling Howard Bush’s monkey. Or something. Then Obama refers to the deaths of the 3000+ American soldiers who have died in Iraq as “wasted”, which is not cool if you want to be president and many, many parents of those soldiers happen to believe their sons and daughters died saving lives and, you know, important stuff. Whoops.

3) Golden Mosque Anniversary: This was the one-year Anniversary of the bombing of the Shiite shrine in Samarra, Iraq. The 2006 bombing of the ‘Golden Mosque’ is now considered to be the event which turned the Shiite and Sunni militia’s attention away from the “Coalition” and onto each other. On the Anniversary 88 people were killed and over 250 injured as a result of suicide attacks in Baghdad. The largest explosion occurred while Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki was holding a press conference, the explosion could be clearly heard while al-Maliki was speaking but no one seemed to notice. Attacks over the last two months have actually decreased substantially in number, but have increased in ferocity. Instead of a single truck bomb, now it seems as though two or three suicide bombers are being assigned to the same target with larger bombs. The market attack on the Anniversary involved three truck bombs, including one in a parking garage. There was also a short report attached at the end concerning the “troop surge”. The American goal is to have 90,000 mixed Iraqi/American troops in Baghdad, up from 50,000 currently, but it won’t be fully realized until at least the end of the summer.

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(7pm) PBS: The News Hour With Jim Lehrer:

1) Baghdad Suicide Bombings: More footage of dead Iraqi’s. The report was from Independent Television News (ITV). The market that was blown up was the last remaining open market in Baghdad. One of the shops was a tailor so maniken torsos were strewn all over and mixed with the dead, human, bodies. The pools of blood were deep and everywhere. The ITV reporter made a point of mentioning al-Maliki’s non-response to the noise of the explosion.

2) Saddam’s VP To Hang: PBS does a news-in-brief segment that lasts aboot ten minutes, then they have four fifteen minute segments on the top stories of the day. The second story during the brief-segment was aboot Saddam’s former Vice President Yassin Ramadan. Ramadan had originally been sentenced to life in prison, but an appeals court has decided that he gets to hang as well. He was convicted for the killing of 148 Shiites in the 1980s. 

3) Iran Denies American Claims: Pretty much the same report as ABC, they use some ABC footage of Diane Sawyer interviewing Ahmadinejad, but PBS brings up the fact today (Monday) is the 28th Anniversary of the “Iranian Hostage Crisis” where Iranian Revolutionary Students took over the American embassy in Iran. There was also some talk aboot possible American plans to bomb nuclear and military sites in Iran, but this was dismissed by Presidential Spokesman Tony Snow as “speculation by Democrats being politicians” (or something close to that). Also, the point was made that for the past twenty years Iran has been supplying Iraqi Shiites with money and weapons, so this is really nothing new.

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(10pm) CBC: The National With Peter Mansbridge:

1) StatsCan Census Controversy: There have been… “problems” with the latest Census in Canada. Enumerators haven’t been paid, or have been paid up to five months late, and were apparently told to fabricate ‘non-crucial’ information. It’s not really a top story, at least it probably wouldn’t be a top story in any other country, but the CBC does like stories involving government screw ups. 

2) Heart Attack Risk Cut By Napping: A study released today from Harvard University shows that people who managed to get “good, quality sleep”, including daily napping, lowered their risk of heart disease by 37%. The study ran over six years and involved 26,000 people. The effects were most noticeable in “working men”, but the reporter said this was probably due to the number of men versus women in the study. The effects should be seen equally across both genders. The report then showed a Canadian company, Intuit Canada, which has several nap rooms available for their employees. They didn’t mention anything aboot bedhead emergencies.  

3) Day 80 Of Canadian Prisoners Hunger Strike: After the attacks on September 11th the Government of Canada, then led by The Liberal Party of Canada, wrote up a bunch of new laws kind of similar to the American Patriot Act. The Justice Minister of the time, Anne McLellen, actually said that the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms did not guarantee any of the Rights and Freedoms listed in the Charter. Yes. Really. The way it currently works is the government can hold people it considers to be a grave risk to the security of Canada or Canadians by issuing a “Security Certificate”. These people can be held for as long as the government wishes (up to aboot six years at a time) without showing the evidence to anyone, including the lawyers or the defendants… because they’re not really defendants because they haven’t really been charged with any crime. So… there are three men, Mahmoud Jaballah (2001), Mohammad Mahjoub (2003) and Hassan Almrei (2001), they are all Muslim and all from “Elsewhere” before they got to Canada. The government claims to have evidence tying them to al Qaeda. They are being held in a special facility in Kingston, Ontario, and they have been held without charge. Under the security-certificate process, the government can detain foreign nationals believed to pose a national-security threat and withhold “sensitive evidence” from their lawyers.
So the three men are actually free to leave at any time, as long as they travel back to their “country of origin”, which means Egypt and Syria. The three men claim if they return there they will be arrested and tortured. So… the hunger strike… it’s into it’s 80th day now — the men are surviving on water and juice only — isn’t aboot getting out and not facing any court, but aboot getting access to medical treatment and some exercise time inside the prison. Each of the men has lost an average of 45lbs. Millhaven has been referred to as “Gitmo North.” But, honestly, not by that many people. 

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(11pm) CTV National News With Lloyd Robertson:

1) Students Cyber-Bully Principal: A school in Ontario banned cellphones from classrooms so nineteen students started a website specifically to leave messages aboot the school principal. Several of the messages were borderline pornographic and attacks on his character, even leaving his phone number. When the site was discovered the students were suspended by the school board for a few days. The students, being morons, were surprised this could happen because, like, it’s free speech man, like, there are laws, you know, that allow citizens to, you know, express their opinions. Fucking tools. There was one interesting question: “Where does the school jurisdiction end?” asked Kevin S*ltana, a tool. Apparently the jurisdiction can and does extend to defending school employees from slanderous punks like Kevin Sult*na. According to the Media Awareness Group, 1 in 4 Canadian students are, or have been, digitally harassed by slanderous punks like that fucking moron, Kevin Sulta*a and his eighteen punk friends. Fucking idiots.

2) Karla Homulka/Teale Has Child: Karla Homulka/Teale is Canada’s third most notorious killer, after Clifford Olsen who murdered a whole lot of children, and Paul Bernardo, Karla’s ex-husband. Paul will be in jail for the rest of his life. Due to a severely broken Ontario Justice System, Karla was released after only twelve years in prison despite having killed at least three girls — including her own younger sister — in a series of bizarre and truly Evil sexually based attacks. And now she has a child of her own. Yippee. At least one nurse refused to take part in the birth. The lawyer for the victim’s families said “she should never have been in a position to have a child.” In response to the nurse refusing to assist, a medical ethicist said “nurses and doctors are not Priests, their role is not to judge their patients.” The baby could not be reached for comment.

3) US Shooting Sprees Leave Six Dead: Crazy people, including one fuck up in a trench coat, shot and killed a lot of people who didn’t deserve to die or to have tragedy in their lives. At least one of the crazy people killed themselves, I think the other was shot dead by police. Which, if true, was probably for the best.

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I’m Canadian, it’s what we do. Off the ice.


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About Gabriel

I’ve lived in fifty-two places. I've been paid to pick stones out of fields, take backstage photos of Britney Spears, and report on Internet privacy issues. My photos have been published in several newspapers, and a couple of magazines.
This entry was posted in America, Canada, Canadian Music, Canadian News, Canadian Politics, CSN:AFU Monday's News, European Union, Great Britain, Humor, Humour, Liberal Party of Canada, Pot, Punk. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Monday’s Top Three News Stories (BBC, ABC, PBS, CBC, CTV): 02/12/07

  1. Queen Minx says:

    Just a couple of comments:-
    **’Put up your Duke/Nukes’! It never, never ceases to amaze me how any and every country that makes, hoards, buys, sells, swaps or has in any way got their dirty little paws on or around, over and under nuclear weapons, thinks that somehow they’re gonna win some big old nuke fight. Jesus H Christ on a nuclear powered bike, nobody wins. Everybody knows this, apart from the Nuke Nutters, who unfortunately run our countries. It’s like some form of nuclear big arse dare. ‘Dare you to press the button’. ‘No, Dare ‘You’ to press the button’ … ‘I will you know, I will press the button, I’m not scared of you, I really, really will press it’. I wish there was a country who could act like the Momma Country, and just say ‘Oh for fucks sake, give me the fucking button, none of you deserve it, and until you learn how to play nice, none of you are having the button back!’
    **’There should be a two-site limit, everything after that gets ranked as a “Curiosity”.
    I definitely agree with this: but there will probably be ‘Graded’ Curiosities!! ‘Nope our Mosque is more curious than your Lady of the Waterfall where a 14 year old virgin swears she had a vision of Our/Your Lady telling her to join a Convent’ and so on … yadda yadda!
    **’there are a lot of black-Americans who believe that Obama doesn’t qualify as an “African-American” because his heritage doesn’t go back to the slave days.’
    I can’t get my head around this. I mean, I ‘can’ get my head around understanding ‘why’ African-Americans think he ‘isn’t African-American enough’ but at the same time I can’t! What ya gonna do? Wait another how many years until another black guy comes along who has another decent crack at the Whitehouse and check out his heritage credentials??? WTF? Get him in there, let him pave the way for someone who is more ‘Historically Suitable’ … you never know, it might be a Black Woman .. Whoah! Come on … a Woman??? Who is also Black??! Sheesh!
    **’Heart Attack Risk Cut By Napping … The report … showed a Canadian company, Intuit Canada, which has several nap rooms available for their employees.’
    I want to work here, I am very, very good at napping, and having bedhead, I do excellent bedhead, and did I mention I was good at napping?? I think I did! wink!
    **’Karla Homulka/Teale Has Child’:
    I remember watching a documentary about this woman. and the fact she has had a child makes me wonder about the ‘Father of the child’, and where his attraction for this woman lies. Is it that her ‘crimes’ are a sub-conscious/conscious turn-on for him? That knowing what she did, somehow attracts him, even though he won’t admit it, and will probably say when questioned, ‘She is a sweet-natured, intelligent woman, who regrets her actions which were all her husband’s fault anyhoo!’ … I dunno. There is something odd about it, to me.
    I am pretty certain Myra Hindley, if she had ever been released from prison wouldn’t have murdered again and, on meeting ’someone’ who had no knowledge of who she was/is, that ‘person’ could quite feasibly have ‘fallen’ for her.
    It’s the prior knowledge of Karla/Myra, and their history(s), that just makes me question the motives of the ‘new partner’. I am sure he is a good Christian man, and they will live happily ever after in subtle notoriety, but still … I wonder.
    Are there plans for Social Services to be involved at some point, or is it out of their jurisdiction? And, what about when the child grows up? ‘Yes honey, I did murder my sister and those other girls, but I am very, very sorry. Now, drink your milk, eat your cookies .. or else!!! Don’t make me angry, you won’t like me when I am angry!’
    Sorry, I know that’s crass. And let’s face it, Prison is supposed to be less about punishment and more about re-habilitation, so in that respect, this woman has served her sentence and has a ‘right’ to live her life and if that means having children then so be it.
    But still …. you know? Just … but still …
    xx

  2. puddlejumper says:

    Hey you.

    Just wanting to send the Love

    Happy Valentines.

    Very clean in here. Have you been tidying up?

    x

  3. feartheseeds says:

    Hey, You Jumper of Puddles. I can definitely feel the love, thanks. I got tired of not having widjits so I thought a more… professional? look might be appropriate. Most of the themes seem to have default font sizes and types which override my HTMLing, but this one has been kind to me so far.

  4. Queen Minx says:

    I found this ’story’ in ‘The Metro’ (Johnny??) today: Thursday 15 February 07:-
    ‘A man who relieved himself on a national war memorial in Canada has been let off – after a ‘mischief’ charge against him was dropped.
    [S.F.] outraged veterans when he was photographed urinating on the memorial, ironically on Canada Day.
    The photographer posted the picture on a website, shaming [F] into handing himself in.
    But the 23-year old was given a reprieve after writing a public letter of apology, completing 50 hours of community service at a hospital and donating $200 (£110) to charity.
    [S.G], defending [F], said ‘He was extremely intoxicated at the time and he didn’t even know where he was.’
    Ah! You Canadians. Getting caught pissed and peeing means:- Community Service and a charitable donation! All for getting caught with ya pants down. Tough but fair.
    Is this Public Urination (mischief) punishment standard then, or was it just because it was Canada Day and the victim was a War Memorial?
    And … the ‘Metro’ coincidence … hmmm … interesting!
    xx

  5. feartheseeds says:

    It’s weird what gets picked up… Canada Day is a pretty major party. The “War Memorial” just happens to be right between the area where the Clubs are (Elgin Street, Bank Street, Sparks Street) and where the University of Ottawa has its Student Ghetto (Sandy Hill). To a lot of really drunk students the War Memorial is just a huge chunk of granite, granite of course being a wonderful stone to urinate on (I haven’t, but I did throw up against the Parliament building a couple of times). So the Veteran, having witnessed this year after year, took the photos. There were aboot a half-dozen kids, but this particular idiot smiled at the camera and gave that Rocker/Love salute. The other kids were too young to be charged with proper offences, but this particular fuck up was, I think, nineteen. If this kid had been photographed pissing on any other piece of granite in Canada the only place it would have been published might have been on a fetish website, but it ended up on the front page of several newspapers so the cops felt compelled to act.

    We have a commuter paper here called “Metro” which, I’m pretty sure, is based in Europe. Could be the same paper. Coincidence?

  6. Queen Minx says:

    Metro newspaper???
    Is it a free newspaper in Canada???
    If so, then it is probably the same paper.
    It’s the only one I read, because it’s free, and erm … well, because it’s, free!
    xx

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