Vulgaires Machins: Canadien

“Compter les corps”; ‘Compter les corps‘ (2006)

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CSN:AFU Week Nineteen

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Family, Visitors And Avoidance:

It takes me time to prepare for… visitors. Then, when they’re gone, it takes time to get over those visitors. It’s a fact of my life at the moment. My sister coming to visit was wonderful, and we had a great time hanging out. I took her on the tour of my little village. We drank beer a close friend of mine brews; she met my step-sister and brother, my grandparents and step-grandmother for the first time at a BBQ on (deeply, darkly ironically) Father’s Day; we played Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, then we tried to watch a few movies but The Someone who borrowed them last fucked them up so the endings were scratched out. I can’t remember who borrowed them… this too is a fact of my life right now. Anyway. To Prepare for my sister coming took aboot a week, then she was here for four days, then it took aboot a week to decompress so there was very little posting done here. I should have taken more time off, actually. I managed to get into an email argument with a friend that may have fucked things up… I don’t know, I’ve been avoiding email for the past four days. This, also, is something of a fact of my life at the moment.

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The Lists:

Five Strangest Search Terms Used To Find CSN:AFU

5) men with no pants
4) cultural snafu blog
3) photo des optimiste laxer
2) what this mean Absolut Israel
1) family fuck time

Honourable Mention: buzkashi pro league

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Top Five CSN:AFU Posts Since Last Friday:

1) Canada: Where Only The Natives Drink The Brown Water OR After 73,000 Days Of Being Ignored They Finally Take One Of Their Own
2) CSN:AFU Week 18 In Review
3) The Five Things You Need To Know Aboot The Canadian Movie Industry
4) Canada: Offering A Safe-Sex Environment Where Humanity Can Fuck Itself Back Together Again
5) Monday’s Top Three News Stories (ABC, PBS, CBC, CTV): 02/05/07

Honourable Mention: Fear The Seeds: Iran vs. America In “The Marketing War” — Where Being The Victim Is Victory

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The Five Blogs I Visited Most This Week

1) A Wide Angle View Of India
2) Newfoundblog.com
3) Kamangir.net (real news from inside Iran)
4) reportr.net
5) Dead Robot

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This Week In General:

The week started off with me playing… tour guide in Ottawa for my little sister. She was here a few years ago but it was winter and no one wants to be in Ottawa in the winter. In every photo I have of her she has a scarf wrapped around her face and a toque pulled down in the Canadian version of a burqua. So this time we walked past the Museum of Nature, down the Rideau Canal to the University of Ottawa, then through Confederation Park to the War Memorial, down Sussex Street past the American Embassy to the National Gallery. She wanted to get a photo of The Voice Of Fire, and I wanted to see the Apocolypse Car — which they’ve moved because they’re renovating the First Nations exhibit… you know, so the Native stuff would be condenced and out of the way just in time for National Aboriginal Day.

Anyway, I got her to the bus (barely) on time then I went to see “Knocked Up”, which is the story of an Overweight Slacker Pot Smoking Canadian Jew living illegally in Los Angeles who gets Katherine Heigl pregnant after a night out clubbing. I don’t know… maybe it could happen. Except for the Jew thing, the Los Angeles thing and the night out clubbing thing I’m pretty sure it actually happened to me three or four times. Except for the Katherine Heigl thing too… although Mel, Illona and Dana were pretty frigging close. Anyway. I laughed, non-stop, for the first hour. For the rest of the (nearly three hour) movie the laughs were sporadic, but exactly where they should have been.

After the movie I should have gone home and slept for a week, but after a few hours of sleep I decided to catch up on some electronic correspondence. That part of my week should be erased, if such a thing were possible. Or right aboot now is when my Stoner Canadian Illegal Immigrant Friends would show up with a bong and some words of wisdom. But I quit the weed six or five or maybe four years ago… I can’t keep track of these things, which is a fact of my life at the moment.

Then I spent the weekend (yesterday and Saturday) crippling myself helping my step-father start his latest construction project: The Garage. We built the back and part of a side wall… because one side and the back are right up against some large hedges, we’re building the walls in their entirety before pushing and pulling them upright. Good times. We — and a friend — moved one wall before it was done and I’m pretty sure I almost lost any chance of having kids… we’re supposed to finish the walls next weekend so I think I’ve got one more week left to start a family.

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This Weeks New Posts:

Canada: Where Only The Natives Drink The Brown Water
I wrote this, kind of, on Canada’s National Aboriginal Day, which never really worked out the way the Government wanted it to back in 1996 when they invented it. Afterall, blacks in Canada get a whole month and Whitey owns the freaking country. So Natives are having their own Day this summer, and they’ve decided to call it a “National Day Of Protest“, because 200 years of negotiations with the Canadian government has left Natives in Canada with the highest levels of Alcoholism, Suicide and Drug Addiction in North America. In Canada, if you’re a Native on a Reserve, you count yourself lucky to have brown water coming out of your taps.

Canada didn’t have a War Of Extinction with the First Nations, all three of our Governments — French then British then Canadian — signed Treaties with the People of the Mohawk, Ojibwa, Algonquin, Huron, Blackfoot, Bella Coola and all the other First Nations. All three Governments made promises to the First Nations, so Canada didn’t need a War Of Extinction with the First Nations like they had in America, we had The Reserves and Bureaucracy and The Residential Schools. Anyway… I kind of fucked up the headline then never got around to fixing it, but I’m going to “Re-Release” this post on June 29th so I’ll get to fixing the headline by then. Hopefully.

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Next Week:

Global Warming, A Movie And Maybe One Short Cut.

I’ve got a dentist appointment this week, so maybe not.

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If you find a broken link, or the YouTube stuff isn’t loading
properly, let me know and I’ll find an alternative…
I’m Canadian, it’s what we do. Off the ice.

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