CSN:AFU Week 23 In Review

Kim Mitchell: Canadian

Go For A Soda”; ‘Akimbo Alogo‘ (1985)


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CSN:AFU Week Twenty-Three

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And On A Personal Note:

I’ve been not well for aboot two months now… this would be why the updates and regular features have been missing. But I’m starting to recover. That would be the good news. The bad news would be hundreds more sex-starved Brits blew through here looking for British Home Secretary Jacqu* Sm*ths t*ts.

It’s a long story, one I was sure was dying off, but then a flurry of media columnists in the United Kingdom sparked it up all over again last weekend. Just Google “Jacqu* Sm*th Cleavage” [where * = ‘i’)and you’ll see what I’m talking aboot. 853 more people found my site this week by searching for her not very remarkable boobies. Her cleavage has now been the number one Search Engine Term (for this site) three weeks in a row.

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The Lists:

Five Strangest Search Terms Used To Find CSN:AFU

5) things that need to be invented
4) myra hindley urinate
3) Photo of men with large Nut sack
2) .donkey cock
1) WALRUS PENIS

Honourable Mention: best cleavage on cable news

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Top Five CSN:AFU Posts Since Last Friday:

1) CSN:AFU Monday’s Top Three News Stories — July 02/07
2) CSN:AFU Week 21 In Review
3) CSN:AFU Monday’s Top Three News Stories — July 16/07
4) CSN:AFU Monday’s Top Three News Stories — July 09/07
5) CSN:AFU Week 22 In Review

Honourable Mention: Six Canadian Movies You Need To See That Don’t Suck — Part Four: Ginger Snaps

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The Five Blogs I Visited Most This Week

1) Nita: A Wide Angle View Of India
2) Irregular Bones
3) Kamangir (Archer) (real news from inside Iran)
4) What Would Tyler Durden Do? 
5) Beyond The Neon 

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This Week In General:

Nothing happened that I really want to… discuss so instead lets chat aboot Chilean soccer players. There’s a huge soccer event going on in Canada, at least until tomorrow anyway. It’s the FIFA World Under Twenty Championship, and all the best soccer players — under the age of 20 — are in Canada. We’ve broken every attendance record they had… overall more Canadians went to see this thing than the previous record holder, Mexico.

I’ve watched a couple of games and, overall, I was impressed with the talent level. But I have never seen a larger pack of whining brats in my life. And I used to run a day-camp for 8-13 year olds. There’s a Junior World Hockey Championship every January. The players, from Europe, Canada and America, will — if needed — put their face in front of a puck traveling at 80mph to help their team. These Soccer Brats would drop and roll like they were on fire at the slightest brush, then get up and wave their arms manically at the ref for not making a call. Not the Africans or Europeans, or not so much the Euro’s, but the South Americans…

Chile had to be the worst of the bunch. I’ve never seen a referee attacked like that by so many players. So, having lost the game which would have put them into the Finals, the Whiny Brats proceed to beat the shit out of their bus and got aggressive with Toronto Police. So the Police, and it’s aboot time, pepper sprayed the little bastards and hit one of them with a Taser. Then they took a few of them for a tour of the local police precinct… in handcuffs. It was beautiful.

Then the protests claiming Canadians are racists started up in Chile and their President made a “Formal Complaint” to our government. These kids are treated like Demigods in South America, and they are exactly why Soccer isn’t watched in North America. Last year, in a professional hockey league, a 19-year old kid was the best player on the ice for the first round of the playoffs, and he did it playing on a broken foot. So, final score, Argentina won the Championship but I think the Toronto Municipal Police Force should get the Participation Medal.

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Photo Of My Week:



You know things are picking up when your grandmother makes cherry pie for dessert.

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This Weeks New Posts:

CSN:AFU Monday’s Top Three News Stories
— July 16/07
Stuff happened last week that I really found interesting, the Palestinians actually have a real choice as to who they want as leaders, and what ideology they want to live under. The trial of Robert Pickton, a Canadian man accused of murdering 26 women over twenty years, got graphic as one of his former crack buddies explained in detail how Pickton discarded of the bodies. Our Prime Minister toured around South America starting up Free Trade talks with a handful of countries…

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Next Week:

A Movie, An Invention And Smiley Faces For Everyone

I’ve got multi-vitamins, apples and fresh oranges…
if I don’t get better this week I never will

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If you find a broken link, or the YouTube stuff isn’t loading
properly, let me know and I’ll find an alternative…
I’m Canadian, it’s what we do. Off the ice.


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About Gabriel

I’ve lived in fifty-two places. I've been paid to pick stones out of fields, take backstage photos of Britney Spears, and report on Internet privacy issues. My photos have been published in several newspapers, and a couple of magazines.
This entry was posted in Canada, Canadian News, CSN:AFU Weekly Review, Depression, Humor, Humour, Photography, Protest, Punk. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to CSN:AFU Week 23 In Review

  1. Anita Marie says:

    Sorry to hear you haven’t been well.
    And sex starved Brits?
    I’m going to talk to my friends that live in
    Scotland…they’ve told me- oh never mind.
    Just get well and STAY there.

    amm

  2. aikaterine says:

    The funniest thing about the “Go For A Soda” video is that they actually hired an acting coach, crazy 80’s. I am glad I do not remember that unfortunate decade.

    I want cherry pie now – it looks yummy! Glad to hear you are starting to feel a bit better.

  3. absolut.folly says:

    you have aboot 2 weeks to prepare for the Finnish Invasion. take your vitamins!

  4. feartheseeds says:

    Holy crap, I think I’ll have to triple the dose…

    Anita Marie, when you ask your friends make sure you reference “cleav*ge” and “Home Secret*ry”.

  5. absolut.folly says:

    and make sure you hide all knives.
    in Scandinavia we Ugrics are famous for being stabbing-happy.

  6. absolut.folly says:

    or hide the vodka. Without the vodka we are harmless.

  7. Dead Robot says:

    Pie always helps.

    It took me friggin’ forever to find your comments link. At the top?! By the Title? That’s crazy!

    Anyhoo, get better. I demand it.

  8. feartheseeds says:

    Well that’s counterintuitive… I was planning one whole vodka soaked, knife throwing weekend. We were even going to make vodka hats out of the labels.

    Dead Robot: thanks, as always, for coming by… the link to get to the comments on this Theme is at the bottom of the post, to the right of the categories. Or you can click on the headline. Hope you like the Star Wars link I left…

  9. Dead Robot says:

    I did! Thank you!

    I also loved this one…it’s something I’d do to my staff:

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