CSN:AFU Monday’s Top Three News Stories — August 06/07

Posted on August 10, 2007 by Gabriel

The Northern Pikes: Canadian

“Girl With A Problem”; ‘Snow In June‘ (1990)

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The First Three News Stories On 08/06/07

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Yesterday’s News Sometime Later: Technically the idea behind this post was to compare the news cycles of Canadian, American and British national and local news… unfortunately I haven’t been able to give it as much attention as I think it requires. Hopefully over the next few weeks I can make it work again.

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Page Jump:
PBS; CBC; CTV

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7pm PBS: The News Hour

1) Bridge Cleanup Starts: It’ll take at least eighteen months to rebuild the collapsed Minneapolis highway. It was a two-bridge system, four lanes each way. By the time they’re done they’ll have to replace the side which didn’t fall. Same materials, same builders, same engineers and same completion date means its outlived it’s safety date as well. There are over a hundred bridges in Quebec which have recently been deemed hazards. Traffic on each of them has been reduced, including a ban on larger vehicles. It’s the same in Ontario and most of the Northern and NorthEastern American States. My grandfather was the project manager / engineer on most of the infrastructure surrounding Montreal. We were watching some of the coverage and he was saying “most of this stuff was only engineered to last thirty, maybe forty years. There hasn’t been a serious infrastructure upgrade [in these regions] in decades so, surprise, things fall apart.”

2) State Of Emergency Declared: These fires have been burning all summer. Just like they do every summer. Having worked (not as a fire person) in a fire zone for several months I can say basically the fire people working on these things are trying a) not to get killed; b) to guide the fire away from populated areas, c) on their days off to get “Townies” to sleep with them. Because the thing is, no human being has ever put out one of these monster forest fires. Not in Canada, America, Australia, Brazil or Thailand… of course, in those last two, no one’s really trying anyway. These kind of fires are only put out when a) there’s nothing left to burn; b) the rain puts it out, or; c) enough people get into the prayer circle. So, on Sunday, Montana’s governor declared a state of emergency. Which means the insurance money can now start flowing.

3) Mine Rescue Ongoing: Seismic counters have been going off since the initial cave-in, which has prohibited rescue workers from searching for the six men trapped underground in a coal mine near Crandall Canyon, Utah. It’s a fairly remote region aboot 140 miles from Salt Lake City.

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10pm CBC: The National

1) Caffeine Boosts Brain Power: A four-year French study has found that elderly women who drink more than three cups of coffee per day are more mentally alert and agile than women who don’t drink coffee. Specifically, ingesting 300mgs of caffeine everyday means women are less likely to have memory impairments, and the effect grows with age. This report, which studied 7,017 people over the age of 65, ruled out the effects of education and income. In the report the researchers said their study isn’t meant to be definitive proof, and they don’t understand how it works, or even why it works, it’s just that it seems to…

2) Ubiquitous Chemical Damaging People: For years it has been known that “Bisphenol-A”, one of the most common chemicals available, in fact it’s in every plastic item made, has been damaging the physiology of animals and possibly humans thanks to it’s ability to mimic estrogen. Remember aboot ten years ago when people started finding frogs with both sexes, or entire colonies of female-only reptiles? Taa-daa. Aboot three billion kilograms of Bisphenol-A is placed into products every year. When those products decompose, Bisphenol-A is released into the water-table. Hearings started today in an American Senate committee to decide if it’s appropriate to ban the chemical. The “American Chemical Council” was quoted as saying “hey, all chemicals need a home. We’re not deliberately evil, you know. We hated our fathers.”

3) Utah Miners Trapped: Six men are trapped 1500 feet below the surface in a coal mine in Utah. They are believed to be still alive, although no contact has been made. If they made it to one of the “safe zones” they should have enough oxygen, water and food for more than a week.

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11pm CTV National News

1) 9yr Old Girl Still Missing: Police in Trois-Rivieres, Quebec — aboot 140 kilometres northeast of Montreal — are still searching for a nine-year old girl, Cedrika Provencher, who has been missing since last Tuesday. Police believe a man approached three other girls in her neighbourhood claiming to be looking for his lost puppy. People were approached by a girl matching Cedrika’s description who was asking aboot a lost puppy. Look… it’s not complicated, if you’ve got a young child you have to street-proof them. You have to make sure they understand that men do not ask children to help look for a puppy. If they’re young either you walk with them to and from wherever they’re going, or you hire a babysitter or nanny. You do not let them walk across town wearing a bathing suit.

2) Death Threats Against Minister: This was, quite possibly, the quickest news item ever to make it to the number two slot on the CTV Newslist. If Tom Clark gave this twenty seconds I’ll eat my blog. Some random Canadian lost a lot of coin when the tax system was changed so he threatened, in a series of emails, to harm, hurt and kill the Canadian Minister of Finance, The Right Honourable Jim Flaherty. The random and unidentified Canadian was arrested.

3) UK Foot & Mouth Back: Sixty animals in Britain have been infected with Foot & Mouth disease leading “Europe” and Canada to ban animal imports from the UK. People travelling to Canada and several other countries from Britain must go through a disinfection process. The British Government, having faced terrorists and extreme flooding in the past few months, called it “an incident, not yet a crisis”. Six years ago six million animals had to be put down, at a cost of US$20B to the economy. At the moment it is believed the virus was released, by accident, from one of two laboratories close to the infection zone. I think the next step will involve either all Britons being turned to pillars of salt, or the main island itself will rise up, turn over, and slowly sink beneath the waves.

Back

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If you find a broken link, or the YouTube stuff isn’t loading
properly, let me know and I’ll find an alternative…
I’m Canadian, it’s what we do. Off the ice.

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Posted in America, Canada, Canadian News, Canadian Politics, CBC News, CSN:AFU Monday's News, CTV News, Great Britain, PBS News With Jim Lehrer, Quebec | Leave a comment

CSN:AFU Week 25 In Review

Posted on August 6, 2007 by Gabriel

Skinny Puppy: Canadian

“Killing Game”; ‘Last Rites’ (1992)
Awesome double bill in Montreal: Skinny Puppy w/special guests Severed Heads

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CSN:AFU Week Twenty-Five

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Technically This Is My 100th Post On CSN:AFU

But a few months ago I imported posts from… my Fear The Seeds and [my other blog] blogs, so this is really my 81st CSN:AFU post. But, seeing as how the counter will be turning over to 100 when this post is published I thought a few stats may be in order.

Since I started this blog, in it’s current format, I’ve averaged 13.5 responses per post and honestly, they’ve all been worth reading. The first person to respond on CSN:AFU was Nita from “A Wide Angle Of India” on January 24, 2007, at EST3.26am — it was on my original “Aboot Page”. To date I’ve had 224 responses on my Aboot Pages. My first Official CSN:AFU Post was “The First Ten Things You Need To Know Aboot Canada”, and the first response was from Louise (aka: the former Queen Minx).

I’ve also been the recipient of three awards, or tags, from people I respect as artists and bloggers (even before they gave me the awards). One for a post aboot the differences between America and Europe in terms of immigration and religious tolerance, one for my music section and one for CSN:AFU as a whole. So here we are… happy 81st to me.

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The Lists From Week Twenty-Five:

Five Strangest Search Terms Used To Find CSN:AFU

5) Jacqui Smith’s tits
4) canida sex 14 year old girls
3) finnish anti-globalization movement
2) When will Canada die from global warming
1) XRAY GLASS neked

Honourable Mention: fucking and the environment

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Top Five CSN:AFU Posts For Week 25:

1) CSN:AFU Monday’s Top Three News Stories — July 02/07
2) [redacted]
3) CSN:AFU Week 24 In Review
4) CSN:AFU Week 21 In Review
5) Canada: Land Of A Thousand Wives OR Instructions On How To Become A Canadian Polygamist

Honourable Mention: Six Canadian Movies You Need To See That Don’t Suck — Part Three: Heavy Metal

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The Five Blogs I Visited Most This Week

1) Newfoundblog
2) Nita: A Wide Angle View Of India
3) Spin Me I Pulsate
4) Dead Robot
5) Stickynote Theatre

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This Week In General:

I’ve spent most of this week avoiding… cleaning up. A friend of mine has come over from Finland for two fun packed weeks of something, and she’ll be here in my little village for a couple of days. I’m hoping she’ll stop by before she gets bored and leaves. Hopefully I’ll have the dishes done before she gets here.

I restarted my Fear The Seeds blog as a place where I can put my photos, and discuss techniques. So far it has been pretty successful, more so than I thought it’d be at this point. I’m trying to post four or five per week.

I also started another blog, I’m not sure it’s entirely ready yet. I am, however, going to keep it separate from Cultural, [other] and Fear. What else… I had lunch with my grandfather twice, which was great, and he bought me ice cream on Friday. Which was also nice. He took the week off from Golfing because of the heat. My grandfather, at 85, can break 100 on eighteen holes on pretty much any course in the area and, except when it’s over 40C with the humidity, he plays three games per week. Last summer he played 97 games of golf, which was down from 116 the year before.

And that’s pretty much it… I got involved in a discussion on [my other blog] that took up most of my writing time, and the new Fear The Seeds site kind of ate into my blogging time, but once my FinnFriend takes off I’ll concentrate on getting more done here.

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Photo Of My Week:



I’m not sure what that flower is doing reaching around like that but it looks slightly pornographic.

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This Weeks New Post:

CSN:AFU Monday’s Top Three News Stories
— July 30/07
Investigation into Chilean Soccer Punks mini-riot absolves Toronto Police. Taliban kill another South Korean. Canadian Air Force pilot killed during stunt due to lack of preparation and training. G.W. Bush outlasts Tony Blair, two Canadian Prime Ministers (Jean Chretien, and Paul Martin jr.) the Spanish Dude, Jacques Chirac, Gerhard Schroeder and Fidel Castro.

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Next Week:

More News, A Movie, And Smiley Faces For Everyone

Banana’s, chicken soup with a whole wheat bagel and
a big glass of orange juice… mmm.

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Posted in Canada, CSN:AFU Weekly Review, Punk | 2 Comments

CSN:AFU Monday’s Top Three News Stories — July 30/07

Posted on August 2, 2007 by Gabriel

Martha & The Muffins: Canadian

“Echo Beach”; ‘Metro Music‘ (1980)
Watch for the keyboardist getting weird, especially at 36 seconds. Yum.

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The First Three News Stories On 07/30/07

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Yesterday’s News Four Days From Then: This was delayed because I’ve been preparing for a special guest while dealing with a sudden growth spurt in my life activity. Next week’s going to be weird as well. So… yeah. Maybe I’ll write something aboot the electron microscope. Someone reminded me aboot how a Canadian invented that thing as well… fuck we’re cool.

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Page Jump:
PBS; CBC; CTV

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7pm PBS: The News Hour

1) Brown Meets Bush: It’s not their first meeting, but it’s the first with Brown as PM. It’s interesting to note that George W. Bush, arguably the most reviled American President of all time — certainly the most reviled internationally — has outlasted Tony Blair, two Canadian Prime Ministers (Jean Chretien, and Paul Martin jr.) the Spanish Dude, Jacques Chirac, Gerhard Schroeder and Fidel Castro. Anyway, Brown wouldn’t get into specifics but Britain will either be taking its 5500 troops in Iraq home over the next year, or moving them from a combat role into a teaching role. Probably the latter. Either way he’s committing more troops into Afghanistan.

2) US Troops Stay Until 2009: Why not? Army General David Petraeus told reporters that “It’s in our campaign plan… Sustainable security is, in fact, what we hope to achieve.” Two more American soldiers were killed recently, bringing the total to 72 in July. You know… Donald Rumsfeld, before the war, was fighting against Old Schoolers within the Pentagon to reform the military from one designed to fight in Europe, against the Soviets, to a smaller force designed around Special Forces and quick insertions-extractions. And, over the course of the Iraqi War, he has been proven to be right. But, because he stubbornly didn’t put a force large enough into Iraq to secure the peace — out of a fanatical devotion to his mini-army philosophy — he’ll go down in history as one of the absolute worst SecDef’s in history. That could be irony.

3) Iraqi Parliament Recessed: When the Americans said “we’re bringing democracy to Iraq” no one thought they meant Italian-style democracy. Surprise! The elected officials of the Iraqi Government are taking the month of August off in hopes of being able to continue not doing anything when they come back in September. I’ve never been convinced the Americans going into Iraq was aboot oil, but I’m pretty sure the Sunni v. Shiite mini-civil war is all aboot oil.

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10pm CBC: The National

Just A Quick Note: Heather Hiscox was filling in as anchor tonight… she’s very good at what she does, but her delivery can be hilarious. She so wants you to feel her emo.

1) Snowbird Crash Investigation: The Snowbirds are the elite flying team of the Canadian Air Force. In 2004, two of the planes collided during a high-risk maneuver. One pilot was killed. Today the findings from the investigation into his death were released… ends up the pilot, considered a young “rising star” was allowed a certain “autonomy” in regards to training due to his great talent. He had never actually performed the maneuver that killed him until that day. There were the requisite calls for the Snowbirds to be disbanded over cost and safety issues, but the fact remains that accidents, especially those causing harm or death, are fantastically rare and the Snowbirds are a valuable PR resource.

2) Another S. Korean Hostage Killed: The “Taliban” claimed to have killed a second hostage. Originally twenty-three South Korean Christian Missionaries had been taken, there has been one confirmed death. al Jeezera had obtained film of the Missionaries… not surprisingly they all looked pretty terrified. The hostages were taken from an area North of where Canadian soldiers are stationed. A Canadian General almost, kind of, explained the event… he said, basically, the Taliban are doing this sort of thing because they’re desperate. Basically they’re going after the easy stuff because the hard stuff — Canadian, British, Danish soldiers — is just too hard. The “Taliban” are demanding the release of more than 100 prisoners. I’m really interested to find out if the prisoners and the “Taliban” holding the Koreans are actually Afghan.

3) FIFA Soccer Brawl Report: People around the world wonder why soccer isn’t considered a sport in Canada and America. A few weeks ago Canada hosted the FIFA U-20 World Cup. With over a million spectators it was the largest sporting event ever held in Canada, and we’ve had two Olympics. After losing a qualifying game a bunch of spoiled punks from Chile punched police and destroyed their bus. Then, when they didn’t stop, the punks were surprised to be handcuffed and arrested. Why were they surprised? Because in their country they’re treated like Gods. One of the little fuckers, after telling anyone who would listen that he had been tasered for no apparent reason (“WTF? I was just punching a cop and suddenly I’m on the ground twitching. I don’t get it.”), admitted later to seeing one of his fucked buddies punch a female cop in the face. Other police, and security guards, were spit on and kicked in the groin… by guys trained to kick. The Chilean players still on the bus were leaning out of the windows, grabbing police officers and throwing stuff at them. Anyway, today was the day the Toronto Municipal Police released their report into their response to the mini-soccer riot, which absolved police of any guilt. Even FIFA was suitably embarrassed by the Chilean punks.

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11pm CTV National News

1) Civil Servants Get Mo Money: Canadian Civil Servants are better paid and have better benefit packages than private sector workers. This is, for some reason, news to the News People. History, even the bits that occurred ten years ago, is an important thing to consult. Fifteen years ago the Canadian Government, under the Liberal Party, decided to get rid of the deficit. But they had a problem… they really, really needed to be liked. So they cut the shit out of the Department of Defence because who, really, needs those dudes? And they cut the Civil Service because, really, they’re a bunch of bastards… but they cut so much they actually, granted a few years later, realized they needed to hire some or most of them back. Only no one wanted to work for them anymore. So they upped the salaries, boosted the benefit packages and here we are today with a Civil Service that’s still smaller than it was fifteen years ago, but 50% more expensive. So of course CTV put the blame squarely at the feet of the Conservative Party which has been in power for… eighteen months.

2) FDA Allows Avandia Sales: CTV, when Tom Clark is hosting, has a weird habit of burying the Canadian news. The American Food & Drug Administration has decided to allow Avandia, a diabetes drug, to continue to be sold despite research saying it increases your chance of heart disease by 48%. Seems perfectly reasonable to me. Diabetes is the seventh leading cause of death in Canada, and costs the Health Care system CDN$9 billion. There were one million prescriptions for Avandia filled out in Canada last year. The FDA called the research into the 48% number “inadequate” and made the decision because Avandia has “too many benefits.” All of which means Health Canada will be coming out with their own report in a few weeks which will read, probably in the conclusion, “Yeah. What they said.” 

3) S. Korean Hostage Killed: Look… despite what your Holy Book or Carvings or Walrus Penis says, if you’re going into a war zone filled with all the stuff normally found in a war zone, your God — no matter who He/She/It is — will not protect you from any of the things associated with war zones. Look. I don’t know… sweeping up bits of human or picking up some debris in order to create a better world sounds great when you’re in first-year university listening to a taped lecture from some prof who doesn’t even care enough to get to class about how magnificent Noam Chomsky is, and you’re all like “oh yeah, I am so going to a war zone to show people how to live in peace”. But bullets hurt. Then they tear your limbs off. And Noam can’t protect you when you’re outside his range of influence. And Afghans don’t read Noam. And, really, while we’re on the topic, no one else does except first-year university students with lazy professors.

Back

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If you find a broken link, or the YouTube stuff isn’t loading
properly, let me know and I’ll find an alternative…
I’m Canadian, it’s what we do. Off the ice.

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Posted in Afghanistan, America, American Politics, Canada, Canadian News, Canadian Politics, CBC News, Conservative Party of Canada, CSN:AFU Monday's News, CTV News, European Union, Great Britain, Liberal Party of Canada, PBS News With Jim Lehrer, US Middle East Policy | Leave a comment

CSN:AFU Week 24 In Review

Posted on July 29, 2007 by Gabriel

Headpins: Canadian

“Don’t It Make You Feel“; ‘Turn It Loud‘ (1982)

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CSN:AFU Week Twenty-Four

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Fear The Seeds Is Back From Purgatory… IT LIVES!!!

Those left from my original “posse” might… remember that I started with three blogs. Back in 1999, I had my features, creative and personal writing jammed into one blog and the arguments from one area bled over into all the others. It wasn’t fun. So, having learned the lesson, last November — along with “CSN:AFU” and “[my other blog]”, I started “Fear The Seeds” to be my feature-writing and discussion blog. But writing features is time consuming and I gotta have my Littlest Hobo and Froot Loops. 

So, after only five posts, 2258 hits and 122 responses, I closed FTS down to concentrate on CSN:AFU, which has been a lot more fun. But there are still things I can’t do, or don’t feel comfortable doing, on [my other blog] or Cultural… so, I’m going to use FTS as a place to expand on some ideas I’ve recently written aboot on [my other blog]. Basically it’s going to be a photo site — both recent and from the past — but with the memories attached to them and whatever technical stuff I can put together… I should probably also mention that I was the photo editor for one magazine and the primary shooter for a (smallish-n) national newspaper. So, if you’re interested, the New FTS is called “photo graphic F.T.S.“, and I’ve already started posting.

More Importantly Nita Dropped In…

and tagged me with an “Intellectual Blogger Award.” Before you laugh at the idea, she thinks I deserve it… Nita’s a professional (capital J) Journalist who has worked with many newspapers including the Times Of India. Through her blog — “A Wide Angle View Of India” — she’s right in the middle of the most important cultural movement on the planet, and she’s covering the associated issues with insight, intelligence and wit. Nita has been in my “Five Blogs I Visited Most This Week” list for twenty four straight weeks, so that’s how I feel aboot her, and her writing. Thanks Nita.

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The Lists:

Five Strangest Search Terms Used To Find CSN:AFU

5) hook-up-with-a-14-year-old-boy
4) Sarah Galashan Jewish
3) want to become a polygamist
2) manic depressive redheads
1) pubic aroma

Honourable Mention: flickr mohareb pictures

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Top Five CSN:AFU Posts Since Last Friday:

1) CSN:AFU Monday’s Top Three News Stories — July 02/07
2) [redacted]
3) Greatest Hits: Canadian Inventions — ‘Basketball’
4) Canada: Offering A Safe-Sex Environment Where Humanity Can Fuck Itself Back Together Again
5) The First Ten Things You Need To Know Aboot Canada

Honourable Mention: Short Cuts: Canada’s Gay Anglicans Were Sacrificed For Politics Not Religion… Just Like Jesus And Marc Hall

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The Five Blogs I Visited Most This Week

1) Nita: A Wide Angle View Of India
2) Experimental Chimp
3) Kamangir (Archer) (real news from inside Iran)
4) Dead Robot
5) Pample the Moose

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This Week In General:

There is nothing more frustrating, as a… blogger, than to have your material debated upon in a forum you have no access to, except being able to watch the debate without being able to participate. Worse yet… this one’s taking place in Spanish. Someone in Madrid picked up a post I wrote on [my other blog] aboot five months ago aboot how the myth of ability in manic depression is extremely dangerous, because once someone with Bipolar Disease starts believing the myth their chances for recovery drop substantially.

The group doing the debating are using lots of emoticons, so I don’t think it’s a mensa group. The actual stated manifesto of their group is to promote the belief that Manic Depression adds to a persons creativity instead of what it actually does, prevent its host from leading a healthy life. Manic Depression is a disease that must be managed, or else it’ll kill you slowly or kill you quickly.

Fucking Punks. The last time this happened it was an anti-medication group. Every once in a while you’ll read aboot how insane it is that anorexics are enabling each other on blogs and websites… yeah.

Anyway, this week I made the decision to start eating healthy and it’s going great so far. Tonight I had a few fried potato wedges, two chicken legs and some gravy and that’s the least healthy thing I’ve eaten all week. Otherwise its been whole wheat bagels, bananas, apples, fish and yummy crab meat, orange juice and 1% milk. I’m actually eating a few, albeit small, meals everyday instead of one crappy meal ten minutes before going to bed… this is a huge change for me. What else… oh yeah, my teeth are clean, two of three fillings were filled and, apparently, I have the tooth bone density of a person nearly twice my age. Good times.

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This Weeks New Posts:

CSN:AFU Monday’s Top Three News Stories
— July 23/07
Shootings and murders across Canada in an incredible weekend of violence, and a pedophile gets an incredible deal from a Crown Attorney. A Canadian bureaucrat admits to defrauding the Department of National Defence of $100 million. GM opens negotiations with the UAW: The outlook for the American car industry could be really bad if these negotiations go wrong… Huge fires in Idaho and Utah and massive flooding in Texas. No reports of plague… Surprisingly Britain can’t float.

Greatest Hits: Canadian Inventions — ‘Basketball’
James Naismith credited a game he played as a child called “duck on a rock” as his inspiration for “Basket Ball”. Duck on a rock was played by throwing small rocks at a larger one, which was laid out on a tree stump or another stone, in an attempt to dislodge it or make it fall. One player tries to guard the large rock, and if the large stone is dislodged everyone scrambles to get their stones back… basically you line up a bunch of kids who then pitch stones at each other. In 19th century, rural Canada this was an exciting way to spend an afternoon. Not quite as exciting, however, as beating each other with sticks, which inevitably became hockey.

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Next Week:

More News, A Movie, And Smiley Faces For Everyone

Crab meat, cream cheese on a whole wheat bagel with a big glass of milk… mmm.

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Posted in Canada, CSN:AFU Weekly Review, Punk | 10 Comments

Canadian Inventions — Basketball

Posted on July 26, 2007 by Gabriel

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Maestro Fresh Wes: Canadian
“Let Your Backbone Slide”; ‘Symphony In Effect’ (1989)

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The most popular urban sport in the world was invented by a Canadian who, as a child raised in rural Canada, thought a game where kids threw rocks at other rocks was as good as it could ever get.

Dr. James Naismith was born in 1861 near Ottawa, in Almonte, Ontario. He later credited a game he played as a child called “duck on a rock” as his inspiration for “Basket Ball”. Duck on a rock was played by tossing small rocks at a larger one which was laid out on a tree stump or another stone in an attempt to dislodge it or make it fall. One player tries to guard the large rock, and if the large stone is dislodged everyone scrambles to get their stones back.

…basically you line up a bunch of kids who then pitch stones at each other. In 19th century, rural Canada this was an exciting way to spend an afternoon. Not quite as exciting, however, as beating each other with sticks, which inevitably became hockey.

In 1887, at the age of 26, Naismith graduated from Montreal’s McGill University in the top 10 in his class, with a B.A. Honours. He had also been a star gymnast, lacrosse player and football player while at McGill. In 1891 Naismith, now a medical doctor with a specialty in sports physiology, moved to the YMCA Training School in Springfield, Massachusetts where he was tasked with finding a sport that could be played indoors — during winter — for the students at the School for Christian Workers.

A year later the first “Basket Ball” game was played with a soccer ball and, suspended ten feet above the ground, two peach baskets — of the players, ten were actually Canadian. The game was immediately popular in the school and Naismith sat down and wrote the original thirteen rules.

Thanks to the network surrounding YMCA’s across the United States and Canada the game quickly spread. There was a women’s school which started using Basket Ball as part of their curriculum almost immediately. The women quickly discovered the drawbacks of sports while wearing corsets, and switched to “bloomers” and pants, becoming some of the first “Western” women to do so for sporting events.

A few years later, however, the YMCA was discouraging Basket Ball as being too “rough and rowdy” and against the YMCA’s primary Christian mission. But that was like your hippy mom telling you not to smoke weed. In 1946, the top professional Canadian and American teams were organized into a league called the Basketball Association of America (BAA). The first game was played on November 1, 1946 in Toronto, Canada between the Toronto Huskies and New York Knickerbockers. Three seasons later the BAA became the National Basketball Association (NBA).

Thanks to the complete lack of equipment needed to play Basketball — just a ball, two baskets and a patch of hard ground — James Naismith watched his sport become one of the most popular in the world, and in 1936 Basketball was introduced at the Berlin Olympics.

He also introduced the use of a helmet in North American football.

Naismith married Maude Sherman in 1894 and they had five children. Naismith — who was also a Presbyterian minister — became a naturalized American citizen on May 4, 1925. After his wife’s death in 1937, he married Florence Kincade on June 11 1939.

In 1968 Naismith was the founding inductee of The Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame at Springfield College in Springfield, Massachusetts. He was also an inaugural inductee to the McGill University Sports Hall of Fame in 1996, and there’s also a Naismith Museum & Basketball Hall of Fame in Almonte, Ontario. The actual playing surface at the University of Kansas in Lawrence was named the “James Naismith Court”, honouring the man who established Kansas’ basketball program and served as its first coach from 1898 to 1907.

Naismith died in 1939 from a cerebral hemorrhage, in Lawrence, Kansas, where he is buried.

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Just as an aside, and sticking with balls… of the current spate of sports played around the world the ball games identified as having been invented by North Americans are netball, dodgeball, volleyball, basketball and lacrosse. Technically it may be true, but in addition to basketball and lacrosse, Canadians also invented broomball — which is similar to hockey (also us). But there is another of note… back in 1977 basketball and hockey had a baby, they put it in a wheelchair and called it Murderball. Also known as “Wheelchair Rugby” and “Quad Rugby,” the rules are, really, a combination of hockey and basketball. Murderball is, without a doubt, the most vicious legal activity on Earth. “Murderball” is also what Canadians used to call “Dodge Ball”.

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Posted in Canada, Canadian Inventions, CSN:AFU Greatest Hits, Eastern Ontario, globalization, Writing, YouTube Alert | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

CSN:AFU Monday’s Top Three News Stories — July 23/07

Posted on July 25, 2007 by Gabriel

Helix: Canadian

“Rock You” (uncensored); ‘Walkin The Razor’s Edge‘ (1984)
There was a request… more like a dare, for more 80’s Hair Metal.

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The First Three News Stories On 07/23/07

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Yesterday’s News The Day After Tomorrow: It’s been months since I’ve heard the voice of Jim Lehrer, the anchor of “The News Hour” on PBS. The 400-foot transmission tower used by the PBS station available with my cable package collapsed back in the early spring. It won’t be fixed until mid-Fall. As much as I like watching American, Canadian and British network news, “The News Hour” is, without a doubt, the best hour long newscast in North America and probably the world. So I’m using their webcast as a source, because you deserve it.

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Page Jump:
PBS; CBC; CTV

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7pm PBS: The News Hour

1) GM Opens Negotiations With UAW: The American car industry has been faltering over the past decade, but the problems only manifested within the past year. But as bad as it may seem it really isn’t that bad. Ford has leveraged everything it has in order to give it some time to restructure, including their logo, but their future looks good. We were told by media outlets inexperienced in business and economics that General Motors becoming the number two automaker in the world meant something, but it really didn’t. Toyota, worldwide, has sold only 40,000 more vehicles than GM this year. But there is one thing, one sector of the car industry that could, possibly, destroy Ford and cripple GM. The large American carmakers, during the 1980’s and 1990’s, signed contracts with the United Auto Workers which, in effect, turned Ford, GM and Chrysler into Healthcare Providers. Everyone who has worked at the Big Three for the past twenty-seven years gets healthcare benefits until they die. Which means the American car industry is now responsible for the healthcare costs of hundreds of thousands of people. Basically this means an American car, right off the assembly line, costs $2000-$3000 more than one built by Toyota in the same town. So this round of negotiation, with GM and Ford’s sales rebounding for the first time in four years, is crucial for the industry. GM said today it’s looking for several concessions from the unions. The UAW, meanwhile, has said it hasn’t ruled out strikes. The UAW is also in talks with Ford and Chrysler, whichever one gives the UAW the sweetest deal will be the standard for the other two.

2) Fires, Floods Threatens South Western US: There’s a fire in Idaho which covers 900sq.miles. Another in central Utah, which caused five towns to be evacuated, that covers 29sq.miles. There are dozens more wild fires scattered across the American mid-West which are threatening several more towns and small cities. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, seventeen inches of rain fell in West Texas over the weekend. There were no immediate reports of plagues.

3) Continued Flooding In Britain: A solid month of heavy rainfall in Britain has left most of the middle of the country under flood waters. A water treatment plant in north Gloucestershire was swamped by flood water, contaminating the regions water supply and leaving at least 300,000 people without clean water for up to three or four days. Additional thousands have been forced to evacuate their homes as the rivers crest. At this point there’s nowhere for the water to be moved to, the towns and villages are flooded until the rain stops. There is an attempt being made to build steel dams around towns already flooded, then pump the water out, back into the river. The ITN report showed British PM Gordon Brown looking very civilized. Some lunatics have started blaming his government for not responding quicker, but the poor bastard can’t be expected to send out the troops every time it rains, expecting it to turn into a disaster. Things have to turn to shit before the government can rationalize getting involved.

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10pm CBC: The National

1) Violent Weekend Across Canada : A report was released last week showing crime rates, including violent crime, are dropping in Canada. The national crime rate, according to the study, dropped by aboot 30% since 1991, including a 10% drop in the murder rate over the past two years. In 2006 Police across Canada reported 605 murders, which was 58 fewer than in 2005 (yes, in 2006 there were only 605 people murdered — in total — across Canada). But even Canadian killers don’t read. Two weekends ago five people were stabbed, and in two separate incidents three suspects were shot by police in Winnipeg, Manitoba, where the body of the second sex-trade worker killed in the past three months was also found. This past weekend in Winnipeg five people were shot, in Toronto three people — including an 11-year old boy — were gunned down, and in Halifax, Nova Scotia, a man was shot multiple times and killed. Also, in Calgary, Alberta, a man was shot in the back. All of which, of course, has called for a total ban on handguns. The problem is most of this recent violence is gang on gang with the good people caught in the middle. Most, not all, gang guns are illegally smuggled in from America. The Canadian Government has been trying to get a crime bill passed with a provision which would make gun crime an automatic five or ten-year sentence. But, for political reasons, it has been held up for over a year in our Senate. There were also five people stabbed in Calgary three weeks ago during the Calgary Stampede, one woman was killed.

2) Pedophile Accepts Plea Agreement: Canadian Justice has no ‘life sentence’. Everyone gets what our legal system calls “A Faint Hope” clause which, if granted, can actually allow someone to go free who might otherwise have another ten-years to serve. Then there’s a guy, Clifford Olsen, who murdered at least eleven children. He gets a parole hearing aboot every five years or so. Several years ago the concept of “Dangerous Offender Status” was created. When someone is deemed to be unreformable and a constant threat to anyone and everyone they might meet, they’re classified as DOS and can be held in prison “indefinitely”, no matter what their original sentence was. Peter Whitmore, a convicted pedophile and sex offender with a violent past has been in and out of prison thanks to the bizarre soft-treatment kiddiephiles get in this country. Last summer he kidnapped, raped and sexually humiliated two children over a weekend. Everyone believes he’ll reoffend, just as he always has done in the past. In fact, previous parole boards have said Whitmore “was 100% likely to reoffend.” So, you’d think, the Saskatchewan Provincial Crown Attorney would seek a DOS on him… but you’d be wrong. In return for his guilty plea on all counts Whitmore will be sentenced to “life in prison”, which means he’ll be up for parole in seven years. No one, now, believes any parole board would allow him to be freed, but there’s that “Faint Hope Clause” hanging there. The idea was to protect the kids from testifying, but now every seven or five years, the whole event will be replayed in the media and someone will have to testify at the parole hearing. The current Federal Government is trying, in a crime bill that has been held up for political reasons by our Senate, to abolish the faint hope clause.

3) Bureaucrat Admits Fraud Over $100 Million: This is probably the most under-reported fraud story in Canadian history. Between 1993 and 2003 Paul Champagne, a mid-level bureaucrat working in the procurement section of the Department of National Defence, managed to funnel $100 million dollars into his own private bank accounts. Paul, on an annual salary of $60,000, owned mansions, traveled on personal jets and basically lived like a rock star. All while working in sensitive areas at the DND. On Monday, Paul pleaded guilty to fraud and breach of trust. In his duties Paul had access to the computer systems at the DND. Now, I’m just a dropout with high speed Internet access, a reasonable IQ and a wonky knee, so I don’t really know jackshit aboot shit… but, if I was in charge of a multi-billion dollar government agency which has in it all of the military secrets of NATO and NORAD and a whole lotta other Stuff, I’d be keeping an eye out for people living “beyond their means”. This guy owned mansions and was getting paid aboot what I did at my last job, and I was broke at the end of almost every pay period… granted, I was drinking a lot and Toronto is an expensive place to live, but still. Basically what I’m trying to say is, Dude Could Have Been Selling Secrets To Anyone With A Chequebook… What The Fuck? Ten fucking years he was in there… fuck off. Honestly, this is what happens when a government forgets they have a military. During this same time period our government was cutting the military’s budget to nothing, and neglected the military to the point where just a few years ago it was basically aboot to collapse.

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11pm CTV National News

1) Man Rapes Boys, Parole In Seven Years: More aboot Whitmore… but first, once again Sarah Galashan, CTV’s Alberta Bureau Chief, is the best part of this whole evening. There was a really interesting piece where CTV dug up an old interview Whitmore did on Canada AM, a semi-newsy national morning show. Whitmore repeatedly told the interviewer “I promise I will never reoffend”. Which, of course, was a cruel hoax. Thing was, everyone knew Whitmore was full of shit. Everyone knew he would rape more children. And, of course, everyone was right. This is a straight lift from the National Post regarding the case Whitmore just plead guilty to: “He kept one of the kidnapped boys on a leash. He made both of his victims call him “master” for days while he repeatedly raped and taunted them. The tale of depravity was revealed Monday in a packed Regina courtroom as notorious child molester Peter Robert Whitmore accepted a controversial plea bargain that could see him paroled in as few as six years. Whitmore pleaded guilty to a dozen charges in last summer’s kidnapping and sexual assault of two boys — a teenager from Winnipeg and a 10-year-old boy from Saskatchewan.”

2) Weekend Gun Violence Across Canada: More aboot the shootings across Canada over the weekend, with a focus on Ephraim Brown, the 11-year old boy gunned down at a birthday party in Toronto. Police had arrested two suspects, one with a leg wound from a gunshot. Both have been charged with first degree murder.

3) NFL QB Banned For Dog Fighting: Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, a complete fucking moron, has been indicted by a federal grand jury on charges related to illegal dogfighting. The NFL, one of the most image conscious organizations in the world, has banned Vick, a complete fucking moron, from preseason training camp, and will probably do the same for the regular season. Eventually someone from the NFL, when asked aboot a man not convicted of any crime being punished by his employer, will say this: “We are doing this in order to give Michael Vick, a complete fucking moron, the opportunity to concentrate on his defence.” Vick, a complete fucking moron, is looking at US$350,000 in fines and six years in Real Prison if convicted of the charges. What a total fucking idiot.

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If you find a broken link, or the YouTube stuff isn’t loading
properly, let me know and I’ll find an alternative…
I’m Canadian, it’s what we do. Off the ice.

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Posted in Canada, Canadian News, Canadian Politics, CBC News, CSN:AFU Monday's News, CTV News, Ottawa, PBS News With Jim Lehrer, Punk | Leave a comment