Short Cuts: A Handy And Timely Guide To Four Of Buffalo’s Golfing Destinations

Posted on May 14, 2007 by Gabriel

The Big Dirty Band*: Canadian

“I Fought The Law”; ‘Trailer Park Boys Movie Soundtrack‘ (2006)
*TBDB Are: Alex Lifeson, Geddy Lee (Rush), Ian Thornley (Big Wreck), Adam Gontier (Three Days Grace), Jeff Burrows (The Tea Party) and Care Failure (Die Mannequin)

.

Eastern Conference Finals:
Ottawa Senators vs. Buffalo Sabres

Game One: Ottawa 5, Buffalo 2
Game Two: Ottawa 4, Buffalo 3 (OT)

.

Four Golf Courses For When… You Know.

.

Beaver Island: Grand Island, New York
Public 18 hole course with driving range, Pro Shop and putting green. A snack bar is open during course hours. Beaver’s signature hole (4th, Par Five) “presents an opportunity for eagle if played properly. The lake comes into play along the left perimeter of the hole, following it from tee to green. Woods on the right prevent a bail-out. The second shot is played toward a green whose fairway widens slightly toward the target. Nothing prevents a straight ball on either shot [except maybe the tears of defeat getting in the eyes of the defeated], so miss to the front of the green if necessary.”

.

Hickory Ridge: Holley, New York
“The 17th is the hole golfers most talk about. It is a sharp dogleg left over a pond to an dramatically elevated green which has acquired the nickname of Heart Break Ridge. The Adirondack style Clubhouse offers a quaint setting of knotty pine walls and hardwood floors. A deck off of the clubhouse over looks the 9th and 18th greens offer a relaxing place for a drink or snack after your round. The dining hall in the clubhouse has a beautiful large stone fireplace with scenic views of the 9th and 18th hole. The clubhouse with a seating capacity up to 150 is also available for private parties, meetings, banquets or other functions. Our Partyhouse can seat up to 400 people for those big tournies [or an early-end-of-the-season wrap up party]. We also have outdoor outings under our tent.”

.

Arrowhead Golf Club: Akron, New York
“Arrowhead Golf Club (20 miles east of Buffalo) has been built from the ground up in the classic Scottish links style. Western New York’s premier upscale golf course was created to accommodate discerning golfers. The Club is a public facility that has 18 holes of championship golf and has been rated as one of the top courses in New York State and in the Northeast [much like the Northeast Division Champions, the Buffalo Sabres].”

.

South Park Golf Course: Buffalo, New York
Club Rental, Driving Range, Pull Cart Rental, Putting Green, Water Hazards, No Dress Code and Guests Allowed. “This course is well maintained and great for beginners. The fairways are wide open, and water hazards (ponds) come into play on a couple of holes. There are no slope or course ratings for either of the tees shown; ladies tee off from the same set of tees as the men [Which is perfect for Briere…].”

.

.

.

If you find a broken link, or the YouTube stuff isn’t loading
properly, let me know and I’ll find an alternative…
I’m Canadian, it’s what we do. Off the ice.

It’s Aboot Fucking Time…

.

.

.

Posted in CSN:AFU Short Cuts, Hockey, Humor, Humour, Ottawa, Punk | 4 Comments

CSN:AFU Week 14 In Review

Posted on May 11, 2007 by Gabriel

The Golden Dogs: Canadian

“Never Meant Any Harm“; ‘Big Eye Little Eye’ (2006)

.

CSN:AFU Week Fourteen

.

New Page:

Photo Evidence
Photos of “Friends, Family And Me…” it’s still a rough Beta Version, but I’ve decided I like the look and feel of this page since I woke up from the two days of sleep I was owed… kind of. I’ll be updating it regularly. Kind of.

.

New Posts:

Short Cuts: I Wanna Destroy, Possibly? OR Taking A Holiday In Cambodia
Activists have always warned aboot how humanity will be held accountable by The Children Of Tomorrow, but no generation ever holds the previous one to account. No one is ever held accountable, therefore everyone is both blamed and blameless. There must be consequences, we must start penalizing retroactively. We must start beating the elderly more often and with more gusto. Bats. We should all have bats.

“Short Cuts” are something I came up with to fill in space while I looked after my grandfather this past week, but I like them a lot so I’m going to try to have a couple of them a week.

.

Short Cuts: There Is No Blue Sky OR Why Justin Trudeau Only Comes Out In The Daytime
All of life’s illusions are concentrated during the daylight hours. There is no sky, it is an illusion of light refracting across our atmosphere. There is no blue sky. Thinking, believing, there is a blue sky is mankinds first religion. This could explain some of “Trudeaumania” (1969-2000)… and maybe even its recent parody “Trudeausuperfluous” (2007-2007).

I should have incorporated an explanation as to who the Trudeau’s are… basically, think of Pierre Trudeau (mania) as John Kennedy. Kind of. Pierre’s son has decided, now that he’s in his 30’s, that he too wants to be a politician (superfluous).

.

Canada: Crazy Americans Fear Canada… Twice OR Two $0.25 Stories In A $0.93 Newspaper
Two stories featured in Canadian news this week will create Urban Legends that are going to need to be explained away by our Grandchildren’s Grandchildren to their Grandchildren unless we stop them here and now:
1) Canada is not the worlds leader in Pirated Movies — camcorder or otherwise — the MPAA statistics ‘proving’ we are were first discredited three years ago and several times since.
2) the American Defence Department never believed the Canadian “Poppy Quarter” was a tracking device.

.


Short Cuts: Evangelicals Took Iraq So Atheists Want Afghanistan OR Look Who The Savage’s Are Now
In order to be considered for deployment to Iraq by the American State Department, as a civil servent responsible for the real democracy process, people were judged on their voting patterns and whether they believed abortion is murder. Just as ridiculous as the four year hallucination that has been the hyper-Evangelical American and British desire to build democracy in Iraq, is the Atheistic fantasy of protecting Afghans by removing United Nations authorized and NATO led troops from Afghanistan, then negotiating a settlement with people who see us with the same eyes our ancestors saw Native Peoples and pre-colonial Africans.

.

In General:

My week started with my mom and grandmother… telling me my grandfather had another stroke. He had, they told me, lost his ability to recognize numbers (which would be huge, him being an engineer) and was sleeping nearly all the time. So, based on how mom says “you should spend some time with him” I’m thinking the doctors have given him three weeks to live. The first couple of days I was thinking “man… he doesn’t seem that bad.” So Wednesday my grandfather and I went shopping for a bar-fridge, microwave and answering machine so he can upgrade his condo. He was converting millimetres into centimetres and then into inches, then into square feet faster than I could write the numbers down. Then we went out for lunch and he left exactly 20 percent as a tip. We spent the entire day talking aboot his engineering projects, some construction problems Montreal is having, his early days as a surveyer… he remembers his golf scores from last year for Christ’s sake… he played 63 games of golf last year, in 2005 he played 98, and he played his first game of this season yesterday.

So the reports of my grandfathers health had been greatly exaggerated… a good friend of his from back in the construction days died recently and the funeral was last week. So he drove 4.5 hours to Pembroke, stayed overnight and drove back the next day. He’s 86 and spent nine hours on the road because one of the last of his friends from Back In The Day passed away… when he got back he was exhausted, so my grandmother and mother decided he had suffered a stroke. Aaaaargh.

Anyway, I spent most of last week volunteering on three different renovation jobs, updated large portions of this blog, spent for too much time around other people… me being an extreme introvert and all… and trying to write emails to people I haven’t spoken to (but wanted to) in several years. So I’ve been exhausted from living on three or four different schedules, but I think I’m feeling better now.*

.

* “In General” contains 12% new material previously not sent in emails explaining why I’ve been hiding.

.

Next Week:

Two More Movies, Two Short Cuts And A Poet.

Maybe.

.

-30- banner

.

Posted in Canada, CSN:AFU Weekly Review, Punk | Leave a comment

Short Cuts: Evangelicals Took Iraq So Atheists Want Afghanistan OR Look Who The Savage’s Are Now

Posted on May 10, 2007 by Gabriel

The Box: Canadian

“Crying Out Loud For Love”; ‘Closer Together‘ (1987)

.

Atheism Is Aboot Humiliation As Much As…

…hyper-Evangelicalism is aboot self-gratification. Not believing in God does not make you an Atheist, to be an Atheist you must have a philosophy of believing faith in any God is wrong.

People speak of “not knowing what we’re fighting for” in Afghanistan as if this were a game of Capture The Flag and the objective must be as visable as a flag on a stick on top of a hill. There are people looking into our societies and judging us based on women voting, our churches being separate from government, our multiculturalism and our lawns. And their judgement is we are weak, decadent and against their God. In the same way our society historically turned Native Peoples, Africans and Asians into dehumanized stereotypes so to have we been turned into inhuman beasts.

The Atheistic fantasy of protecting Afghans by removing United Nations authorized and NATO led troops from Afghanistan, then negotiating a settlement with people who see us with the same eyes our ancestors saw Native Peoples and pre-colonial Africans is as foolhardy, naïve and dangerous as the hyper-Evangelical four year hallucination that has been the American and British desire to build democracy in Iraq by using teams of public servants whose childlike innocence has been only slightly less ridiculous than their required credentials for deployment being a shared religious belief that abortion is murder and having all voted Republican.

.

.

If you find a broken link, or the YouTube stuff isn’t loading
properly, let me know and I’ll find an alternative…
I’m Canadian, it’s what we do. Off the ice.

.

.

.

Posted in American Politics, Canadian Politics, CSN:AFU Short Cuts, Middle East Politics, Punk, US Middle East Policy | 2 Comments

Canada: Crazy Americans Fear Canada… Twice OR Two $0.25 Stories In A $0.93 Newspaper

Posted on May 9, 2007 by Gabriel

Peaches: Canadian

“Boys Wanna Be Her“; ‘Impeach My Bush’ (2006)

.

Two Stories Featured In Canadian News…

this week will create Urban Legends that are going to need to be explained away by our Grandchildren’s Grandchildren to their Grandchildren unless we stop them here and now.

The first one involves a unique Canadian coin and a mistaken addition to an internal report by an American intelligence service. In 2004 the Canadian Mint, one of the most prestigious in the world, released the first coin to have a painted portrait featured on its face. This involved a new and patented technique. Sometime in 2005 a few American Army contractors, working on projects in Canada, made reports to the Defence Security Service, an agency of the Defence Department, claiming the coin — with a highly unusual and distinctive bright red centre, was a tracking device. At least one of the contractors reports made it into a 29-page report which was briefly circulated inside the DSS. Using recently declassified documents the Associated Press wrote a story aboot the coin and how ridiculous the DSS was for believing a Canadian coin could be used to track the whereabouts of Army Contractors.

The problem with the story is that it’s over a year old, this is its third news cycle and the DSS admitted to having made a mistake almost immediately upon the publication of the 29-page report… and then again this past January.

Buried deep in the AP story — which everyone is reprinting or using as their source — was this statement: “The [DSS] never examined the suspicious coins,” spokeswoman Cindy McGovern said. “We know where we made the mistake,” she said. “The information wasn’t properly vetted. While these coins aroused suspicion [with the contractors], there ultimately was nothing there.”

The timeline goes like this… the first reports of a tracking-coin — and there were only a few — surfaced in 2005 and at least once more early in 2006. They were treated like a UFO sighting (ie: as in not important enough to look at), but at least one accidentally made it into a minor internal report, which the DSS quickly retracted and the 2006 DSS Annual Report — released in January, 2007 — again explained the mistake. Using the news stories written aboot the apology in the Annual Report an access to information request was made by reporters and last week, four months after the last apology, the related documentation is released by US and Canada Intelligence Services. The AP then write their story based on these original documents and — taaa daaa — here we are: Crazy Americans Fear Canadian Coin… Part Three.

.

#2: A Failing Industry And A Naive Canadian Reporter…

got together this week to announce Canada is a world leader in the heinous crime of movie piracy. Several years ago the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) started telling whomever would listen that Canada is responsible for 80% of the worlds pirated movies. The statistics have been debunked several times by several organizations, but every six months Canada becomes the Kingpin in a crime on par with dealing heroin to strung out D-List actors.

Michael Geist, one of Canada’s most respected technology lawyers, last wrote aboot this on his blog five months ago: “…the International Intellectual Property Alliance, a U.S. lobby group that includes the MPAA, advised the U.S. government in late September that Canadians were the source for 23 percent of camcorded copies of DVDs.
“In fact, AT&T Labs, which conducted the last major public study on movie piracy in 2003, concluded that 77 percent of pirated movies actually originate from industry insiders and advance screener copies provided to movie reviewers.”

I wrote aboot this on my blog waaay back in February of this year. It was a brilliant piece. Basically revenue from theatre ticket sales has been dropping like Nicolas Cage’s career potential, and the MPAA have been trying to deflect criticism of the movie industry’s inept handling of technology issues.

It is understood that Entertainment Reporters are generally at a loss when it comes to business and technology, but the MPAA Urban Legend goes back three or four years and large dailes, like the Globe And Mail where I found this version, have databases of sources which all of their reporters can access. It’s the same with the Coin Story, which has been reported on during at least two previous news cycles over the past eight months. It would have been very easy to do the Coin Story up front and honest, but the people who picked up the AP Story had “Americans Are Dumbasses” headlines they wanted to use so they buried the pedestrian stuff and put the misleading “Dumbass” comments in the top six paragraphs. At best the Coin Story should have been one of those “funny briefs” newspapers run across the top of a page, and the MPAA story should have been an expose on how Hollywood is blaming the loss of their theatre revenue on Canada.

Remember the link to this page for your ancestors convenience.*

.

*Parts of this post were scalped from comments I made on Canuck Attitude and Blevkog. And by “parts” I mean aboot 76.5 percent.

.

.

If you find a broken link, or the YouTube stuff isn’t loading
properly, let me know and I’ll find an alternative…
I’m Canadian, it’s what we do. Off the ice.

.

.

.

Posted in Canada, Canadian Inventions, Canadian Movies, Canadian News, Canadian Politics, CSN:AFU Aboot Canada | 5 Comments

Short Cuts: There Is No Blue Sky OR Why Justin Trudeau Only Comes Out In The Daytime

Posted on May 8, 2007 by Gabriel

Loverboy: Canadian

“Turn Me Loose“; ‘Loverboy’ (1980)

.

All of life’s illusions are concentrated…

during the daylight hours. There is no sky, it is an illusion of light refracting across our atmosphere. There is no blue sky. There Is No Blue Sky. THERE IS NO BLUE SKY. Thinking, believing, there is a blue sky is mankinds first religion. Religion is aboot limits, and Man needed limits because Man is constantly afraid so He chose to worship The Sun and The Day because daylight shows us the earth while darkness shows us the universe. So even before the debate started on whether or not we should get out of our tree we’ve been worshipping lies and terrified of Truth. This could explain some of “Trudeaumania” (1969-2000)… and maybe even its recent parody “Trudeausuperfluous” (2007-2007).

.

.

If you find a broken link, or the YouTube stuff isn’t loading
properly, let me know and I’ll find an alternative…
I’m Canadian, it’s what we do. Off the ice.

.

.

.

Posted in Canada, Canadian Music, Canadian Politics, CSN:AFU Short Cuts, Humor, Humour, Punk | 3 Comments

Short Cuts: I Wanna Destroy, Possibly? OR Taking A Holiday In Cambodia

Posted on May 4, 2007 by Gabriel

Bunchofuckingoofs: Canadian

“Alcoholiday Turned Alcoholocaust“;
‘There’s No Solution – So There’s No Problem‘ (1986)

Punk Lost Its Way When It Stopped Believing…

… we were all going to die tomorrow. I grew up knowing tomorrow was never coming… so, where’s the Atomic Bomb I was promised? Because nobody ever trained me for what forever was going to feel like. For the first eighteen years of my life I was raised to be prepared for the bombs to fall… but the fucking things never came. Another eighteen years later and I’m getting pretty tired of waiting so somebody better start pushing some fucking buttons soon because I am definitely not prepared to wait another eighteen fucking years for there to be no tomorrows.

Todays activists keep moaning aboot how we’ll be held accountable by The Children Of Tomorrow, but no generation ever holds the previous one to account. No one is to blame except those living in today’s bombed out village or industrial wasteland: “I didn’t break it, it was broke when I walked into the room, and I’m not picking it up because I had nothing to do with breaking it.” After all, the survivors must be to blame otherwise why would they be punished for living there in the first place? No one is ever held accountable therefore everyone is both blamed and blameless. There must be consequences, we must start penalizing retroactively. We must start beating the elderly more often and with more gusto. Bats. We should all have bats.

.

.

Posted in CSN:AFU Short Cuts, Humor, Humour, Punk | 5 Comments