The Apocalypse Car

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People get their artistic rocks off in all kinds of ways… landscapes, abstracts, LOL Katz. My favourite piece of art is a 1977 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am with The Book of Revelations scrawled into its black paint by an artist using a nail.

Technical Stuff: Taking a camera into a gallery is usually against the rules. Funny enough most artists don’t want their work photographed or reproduced. But in large galleries there are usually some exhibits which are cool to shoot. For the others I suggest waiting until the security guard leaves the room. I used a real camera and real film (400ASA) for this shot.

This is an installation at the National Gallery of Canada. The artist had eight paintings surrounding the car, each one was a vision of the Apocalypse. But all I saw was Burt Reynolds driving 300 horses as the vanguard of The End Of Days. I don’t even know the artist’s name, and I’m pretty sure “The Apocalypse Car” is not even the name of this work.

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Posted in Entertainment, From My Wall, Photography, Pre 2004 | 11 Comments

Riding Out The Storm

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I have always, always wanted a camper like this one. I’ve been hooked on the idea of living in a camper ever since I first saw Dr. Gonzo step out of his own camper and walk across the parking lot to the San Francisco hospital where he worked as a surgeon while overcoming the demons from his time working in a MASH unit in Vietnam using nothing but his sure hands and dark sense of humour… and totally nailing every nurse in the joint.

Technical Stuff: If it wasn’t for the blood work to monitor my medications I wouldn’t be walking through this parking lot to get to the clinic every other week… so to get a shot like this it’s probably important to have a disease that requires medications which need to be monitored. Actually, I guess pretty much any reason for regular blood testing would work. I woke up that morning and totally planned on having the clouds hang there like that.

Ah, the life of a camper driver… travelling from city to city stopping only to break hearts and fight crime, stealing gas from the rich with a hose and a bucket and leaving behind notes scrawled on their cars with a sharp piece of metal warning them of some vague “consequences” if they approach the authorities. I think I’d sign them “Trapper John” just to complete the circle. Man… I can almost smell the fresh air from my open window.

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Posted in Entertainment, Humor, Humour, Photography, Vankleek Hill Photos | 3 Comments

Even Batman Couldn’t Save The Falling Girl In Silver City



Riding out the storm; July 16, 2008 — Photo by Me.

There’s a pivotal moment in the latest Batman movie, in fact it’s really the penultimate climax, where two boatloads of confused and panicked people have the option of either destroying the other group or being destroyed themselves.

One boat is made up of regular people, the other loaded down with men convicted of heinous crimes. Somehow, over a fifteen minute period, these two separate and unequal groups of people manage to come to the same altruistic decision to not guarantee their own safety.

However, considering what happened in the theatre lobby twenty minutes before the movie started I don’t think I’d be too cynical in saying this situation is, at best, unlikely… but really a whole lot of bullshit.

A tall, young girl stumbled through our concession line and seemed to trip over a wet-floor sign. She fell awkwardly, almost bouncing off the counter, and through another line until she slumped on the floor. She slowly pulled herself up using the counter for balance, then staggered a few steps and fell again.

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Posted in Canada, Entertainment, Movies | Tagged , | 4 Comments

Zombie Cat

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The good news is the jaws of a house cat, even a Zombiefied one, are too weak and too small to adequately crush your skull, thereby denying it total access to your brain matter. The bad news is the common house cat doesn’t know that.

Technical Stuff: I turned the camera on. After that it was all a blur.

I was sitting on the porch waiting for something and the cat was circling me and unusually friendly, so I started following her with the camera. I took this shot while she was behind me… every shot I took where she thought I was looking came out like some Hello Kitty cartoon. The shots of her behind me… suddenly she’s looking for a kill-spot.

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Posted in Photography | 8 Comments

Slacker Bee

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I guess sometimes even the Bee has to take a break. Working all day, gettin’ paid next to nothing, never getting their fair share of the honey, having to put up with getting hassled by the WASPs. Every once in a while a Bee just has to take a little bee time and sit back and tap a little grass.

Technical Stuff: I spent about thirty minutes in this little patch of blue flowers chasing honey bees… but those bastards won’t stay still long enough for my pocket digital to focus, so I got some great shots of a ladybug and this bumblebee. Yeah, I’m now taking photos of insects and flowers. Don’t worry though, I’m taking my lithium everyday.

This poor bastard of a bee is dying. I originally found him/her stumbling along the ground, so I tapped his/her ass and he/she walked up these stalks of grass. He/she flew away after a few moments. He/she hasn’t called back but I think he/she said something about a sick queen… nah, I didn’t tap its ass, I tapped ON its ass. Grow up.

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Posted in Animals, Entertainment, Favourites, From My Wall, Nature, Photography, Vankleek Hill Photos | 1 Comment

The End Of Days

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It’s not everyday you get to see what the end of the world would look like. Although I always figured there’d be more competitive Irish dancers jigging their way in a colour coordinated, perfectly symmetrical high kicking plaid line into the horizon with smiles permanently fixed in their everlasting tribute to Satan.

Technical Stuff: I was using my pocket digital and set the exposure by aiming the camera straight up to focus. This was taken during “Magic Hour” while an early morning storm was clearing. Magic hour is actually the 30 minutes before sunset and the thirty minutes just after sunrise when there’s almost no glare from the sun, so its light is at its purest.

There are definitely no bunnies in those clouds. It’s not often cloud formations show the hand of God coming down to smite the wicked, but this one comes pretty close to having all the images of the Apocalypse… the crosses stretching into the horizon, the bent and broken light posts in the foreground, the broken landscape of dark old buildings… the Chevy driving towards the abyss.

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Posted in From My Wall, Photography, Sunrise Project, Vankleek Hill Photos | 1 Comment