Little Victor Update | Little Victor turns eight months old plus we see another Angel

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I have to start writing this stuff down. I just had to call Diane because I can’t remember half the stuff we did last week… at least, I can’t remember half of last week.

We did have fun during the parts I can remember. Victor and I went for a few long walks together, he does love his little buggy.

We managed to arrange a visit with Victor and his great-grandfather on Thursday. My grandfather, Big Victor, isn’t quite strong enough yet after his heart attack to hold Little Victor, but the three of us hung out for forty minutes on my parents’ deck.

We mostly talked about the advancements Little Victor is making towards becoming a functioning human being. Little Victor can support his torso now, so when I carry him in one arm he can hold his head up and look around. And he does like looking around.

My grandfather and I are both impressed Little Victor can feed himself… Little Victor turns eight months old this week.

Diane told me Little Victor can now get on all fours — or eights, really. He can balance himself on his forearms, knees, lower legs and feet. He can even wobble forward a little.

My grandfather has already started hitting golf balls again, mostly just his 9-iron, and only behind his retirement home. But he has gone out to check on the renovations to the driving range in Vankleek Hill — all of which he really likes, except the lack of benches. And he did show up at the Hawkesbury course where he usually plays, and met up with some of the people he regularly plays with.

So he’s ready and willing to get back out there, he just has to wait a little longer for his body to catch up with his mind.

88-years old and he’s still playing two rounds a week.

Victor’s grandmother had her first gallery show in a long time. My mother is part of a photo exhibition at the Arbor Gallery in Vankleek Hill. Mom has ten photos in the show, the theme is cars.

So I brought Victor to the ‘vernissage’, or “wine & cheese day” on Saturday, and met some of mom’s friends from when she was working at the National Archives and Angelo, my step-father’s friend and partner at the architectural firm they work with.

Angelo sang Victor a song in Italian that he remembered from when he was a child, Victor was impressed with the hand clapping part.

The food Victor is eating now is basically a thicker version of everything he’s been eating for the past month — corn, strawberries, applesauce and pears. Plus, once, he ate Cheerio’s.

I think he would have eaten handfuls of leaves today (Monday) if I had given him a chance. When I’m carrying Victor around I like to let him touch different surfaces, he really seems to like the different textures. Today it was tree bark and leaves. Yesterday it was the spruce hedges in my parents backyard.

He likes to pull and violently shake on the branches… I’m not sure why. I tried it, but I don’t get it. Babies… really, they’re mostly stoned.

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Posted in CSN:AFU Aboot Me, Entertainment, Hawkesbury, Parenthood, Parenting, Vankleek Hill, Victor, Victor's Week In Review | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Little Victor Update | Big brother Andrew the Adventurer

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Victor and I hardly saw each other this past week. He spent his nights with his mother, and his days and afternoons with his grandmother. I’m sure they treated him great, but it’s going to make for a pretty short update.

Diane’s boss left the province for a week, maybe longer, and basically left her in charge of the store. So Victor spent a few hours in the morning at work with his mother, then I’d take him until she was done her shift. Then it was back to mom while daddy took Andrew — Victor’s 4.5-year old older brother — out on adventures.

I spent more time with Andrew this week than any other in the eighteen months I’ve known him. Which is probably a good thing. I’m still trying to figure out what our relationship is, or should be. Someone wise in these things told me it’ll be determined by him, and it’ll probably be something along the lines of “adult = moving play structure”.

So we spent a lot of time at the parks in town, and exploring. On Wednesday we walked the eight blocks or so from downtown Vankleek Hill down into the “New Development” — which was new thirty-years ago, where there’s a small and mostly useless park.

I brought a cloth bag so, along the way, we could pick up strange stones, flowers and leaves for his mother. Andrew got right into that.

On Tuesday we ended up at the main park, where we kicked a ball to each other, he got on the “big boy” swings, and almost managed to get across the monkey bars all by himself — just getting from rung to rung on his own was a huge step for him. Then we splashed around on the splash-pad.

We did play video games together for about thirty minutes each day, but when he’s with his dad the video game is the babysitter, and he can spend anywhere from two hours to two days in front of MarioCart, so I don’t feel too guilty. We did play together though, which is not something he’s used to.

Andrew does listen to me, which is something I’m surprised at. Holding my hand while we cross the street is automatic now.

I don’t think what I’m doing is “parenting”, I think I’m babysitting. At least thinking like that made this week a lot easier on me. I used to be a pretty decent babysitter when I was a young dude, so once I got into that frame of mind everything seemed to get a lot easier.

It’s like, when I was thinking about being a “parent” to Andrew, I was thinking “what lessons can I offer without getting between Andrew and his father?”, but once I got into “babysitter” mode it was like “okay, lets go on an adventure”, and off we went.

When I was seventeen I spent a summer volunteering as a counsellor at a summer camp called Frontier Lodge, in the Eastern Townships of Quebec — kind of near Magog. It was run by a mostly-well-meaning evangelical church in Montreal and, over two two-week camps, they put me in charge of two groups of 8-year old kids. And I was pretty good at it.

The trick is to keep the kids occupied long enough so they forget the annoying crap they wanted to do.

It was a bit easier at Frontier Lodge… I taught both canoing and archery, plus I wore a Union Jack as a scarf. At camp, it doesn’t get much cooler, or distracting, than that.

With Andrew I’ve developed three new measurements of time: later; laterlater, and; laterlaterlater. ‘Later’ means after we’re done doing what we’re doing. ‘Laterlater’ means we’re going in this direction for another hour first, then we’ll turn around. And ‘laterlaterlater’ means ‘after dinner, and possibly before bed, but don’t count on it’.

He picked up on them pretty quick, and has accepted them… at least for now.

We had a lot of fun this week. I’m constantly worried that we’ll be alone (ie: without Diane) in a store, or on the street, and he’ll freak out. But so far he’s listening. I think most of his willingness to listen comes from him not getting outside nearly enough.

At this point his father is almost entirely absent, I think it has been a month since they’ve seen each other. And when they are together their time is mostly spent inside, and the Wii is the babysitter. So the kid has energy to burn. He does spend a lot of time outside with Diane’s parents, working in their garden or just hanging out with his grandfather.

And he does spend time at the park, or going on walks, or working in the community garden with his mom, but a lot of that time is with Victor, and I definitely get the feeling Andrew is feeling neglected when Victor is around.

I’m thinking about trying to split my week into Andrew Days and Victor Days. I definitely don’t want a repeat of last week, where I only saw my son for a couple of hours… at least while he was awake. But I should be spending a lot more time — regularly — with Andrew. After all, we’re family.

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Photo Of Victor’s Week:

Victor's photo of the week

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Posted in CSN:AFU Aboot Me, Eastern Ontario, Entertainment, Parenthood, Parenting, Vankleek Hill, Victor, Victor's Week In Review | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Little Victor Sunday Update | Zucchini and the Beeping thing

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I’m not sure what Victor will be interested in when he’s a little older. My grandfather asked me this week what sports my girlfriend and I will enroll Victor in, I really didn’t have an answer, and when I said “soccer… I guess, and hockey”, it just felt silly.

But if repetition is one of the keys to education, then after this past week Victor is well on his way to growing up to be attracted to trucks driving in reverse.

The building my girlfriend and I live in is right next to the only intersection in Vankleek Hill with traffic lights. The municipality replaced the old ones a few years ago with shiny high-tech ones complete with sound beacons so people who are visually disabled can safely cross the street.

The problem is, since there was a power outage over a week ago, the sound beacon won’t stop sending out its electronic pulse. For thirty seconds of every minute, twenty-four hours a day, the frigging thing just keeps beeping.

I’m not actually sure if the noise is as frustrating for Victor as it is for his mommy and I. Loud noises intrigue him… when we’re hanging out on my balcony and the motorcycles or maxed out cars take off from the intersection, he’ll always turn his head out of curiosity towards the noise.

My girlfriend also has a tiny, but very excitable dog, and Victor has no problem when the thing is yapping away right next to his ear.

Diane called the Champlain Township office late last week about the beacon, and was told the problem had been fixed. After she told them it hadn’t been, they promised to send another crew out… but haven’t, yet. An acquaintance of mine, who lives just on the other side of the intersection, also called and was told everything was working the way it should… that the beacon was supposed to go off like it is.

So on Saturday, at about 3am, I took my camera out to record it, and this is what Victor, Andrew, Diane and I have been living with for the past week… try watching for the full three minutes (you need speakers):

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Long before Victor came around, and way before Luc had Chase, we’d talk about what we wanted our kids to do as they grew up. Mostly it came down to stuff which would make our future kids better hockey players — like martial arts for the flexibility.

But now that Victor is here I have no idea. I haven’t even really been able to visualize the little guy as much more than the natural evolution of formula-guzzling human beings he’s presenting himself as now.

Victor’s food trials continued this week. Zucchini, apples with cinnamon, and mixed vegetables with pears were all on his menu this week.

Andrew, Victor’s older brother, started T-Ball last week, so this week Diane and I took Victor to see him in action. Andrew can hit the ball well, but once he’s on base he’ll play the ball as though he were on defence. He almost got a solo double-play against his own team.

Sports with 4-year olds is a lot like herding kittens.

Victor and his brother both had rashes and diarrhoea this week. But after some bed rest, vaseline and (for Andrew) chicken soup they’re both much better now. Unfortunately now Diane is starting to feel under the weather. On the plus side, I mostly feel great.

I figure this video of Victor and Cooler hanging out should make up for the hell I’m sure everyone went through listening to the beeping thing outside our windows:

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At night, when I’m walking around, I can hear the beeping all over town, so if anyone in the Vankleek Hill area feels like helping (or from anywhere, really), the general number for Champlain Township is 613.678.3003. You’d be inquiring as to why the sound beacon on the crosswalk from the fire station to the music store has not been fixed yet (I’ll update this when it is)*.

*it’s fixed. The 5W’s are in the comments.

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Photo Of Victor’s Week:

Victor's photo of the week

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Posted in Canada, Champlain Township, CSN:AFU Aboot Me, Entertainment, Family, Parenthood, Parenting, Vankleek Hill, Victor, Victor's Week In Review | Tagged , | 4 Comments

Life got so bad during the Great Depression people were actually fooled into thinking Corn Flakes had flavour

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I’ve been spending a lot of time in the archives of The Review*, the 117-year old, Vankleek Hill-based weekly broadsheet newspaper — I’m writing a series of pieces on how the people in my village survived the Great Depression**.

The good news is, most of them did. At least so far, I’ve only just finished with the issues from 1929 and 1930, I still have to get to 1936 before I know for sure.

The weird news is, they were also going through the first serious attempts by corporations to use mass media to sell crap to naive people who only wanted to listen to Amos & Andy, or read about whose niece was visiting town from Ottawa for the week.

Last year I researched the effects of the 1918 Spanish Flu on the Vankleek Hill region, and it was actually the advertising that told most of the story. Tonics and potions from 1917 that were advertised as cold remedies with superpowers, were repackaged as cures for the Spanish Flu by the fall of 1918.

It was the same stuff, same package, same illustrated and weirdly happy face attached to the copy, just new claims.

I’ve found a lot of advertising so far this time that’s worth taking a look at on it’s own… mostly this time it’s the banks who are telling the story, as they desperately try to get people to invest their money in a savings account. Or the mining company’s using fairly sophisticated advertorials to sell stock.

Then there are the odd ones, including one from Kellogg’s claiming “Corn Flakes” are “One of the finest dishes you ever tasted!”. I’m not sure a better case could be made for a consumer protection agency.

This is the copy from the ad:

Flavor

You don’t know how much flavor you can add to breakfast till you fill a bowl with crisp Kellogg’s Corn Flakes, pour on milk or cream and add fruits or honey. One of the finest dishes you ever tasted!

Kellogg’s Corn Flakes

This is the smaller print:

More than 12,000,000 people daily demand Kellogg’s Corn Flakes because of that famous Kellogg flavor!

Enjoy Kellogg’s for lunch as well as breakfast. Just try a bowlful late at night!

Look for the red-and-green package at your grocer’s. It brings you oven fresh Kellogg’s Corn Flakes in the patented inner sealed waxtite wrapper. Served by hotels, cafeteria’s — on diners. Made by Kellogg in London, Ontario.

I’ve got a bunch of stuff from the archives that are just odd — a photo of a 3-year old boy smoking a cigar, for example — that I’ll leave here over the next few weeks.

*Back in the day “The Review” was known as The Eastern Ontario Review.

**I wrote a post about a book called “Ten Lost Years: Memories of Canadians Who Survived The [Great] Depression” (1973) by Barry Broadfoot… it has to be one of the best books written about that era of Canadian history. If you’re interested, it has a few excerpts, as well as directions on how to find a copy.

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Posted in Advertising, Canada, Eastern Ontario, Entertainment, globalization, Reporting, Vankleek Hill, Vankleek Hill History | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Little Victor Sunday Update | New cousin new food new poo

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This week Victor lost the distinction of being the youngest member of my family… and gained a cousin.

Chase Holden Landriault was born on Wednesday, July 14, at 3am. This is the first child for his parents, my sister-in-law Joan, and Luc, my little brother.

Holden comes from Catcher In The Rye, I’m not sure where Chase comes from, but I do know the initials “CH” stand for “Club de hockey Canadien” (Montreal Canadiens).

Hopefully Luc’s wife, a serious Toronto Maple Leaf fanatic, never finds out.

I’m sure, when Chase is old enough, his big cousin will tell him all about the Ottawa Senators.

Victor’s great-grandfather is home from the hospital after a week long stay. My grandfather, who is 88-years old, had a “mild” heart attack last weekend, and the doctor’s inserted a stent into one of his arteries — it had been 95% blocked, which isn’t good. They were going to insert more, but decided he was in excellent shape and could get by on using a few pills.

My grandfather plays 36 holes of golf every week. He’s only been using a cart for the past couple of years, and there are a couple of par-5 holes where he watches the other three players and takes a ‘7’, but twice a week he’s out there.

Hopefully the two Victors can get together later on today (Monday).

We don’t know how much Victor weighs right now — at the last weigh-in he was at 17lbs 13ozs, and gaining 1/4lb per week. So he should be over 18lbs by now. What we do know is Victor’s poo has definitely moved into a whole new category. It’s basically becoming Play-Doh, but it’s not so much fun when it’s squeezing out.

It probably has something to do with his newish diet. I didn’t feed him the hard stuff this week, I was strictly formula and juice detail, but Diane has been feeding him all kinds of new veggies, fruits and animal byproducts. Diane has also taught Victor, and I think this is just amazing, to feed himself with a spoon.

There are photos. It’s the funniest thing.

Victor has also moved on from simply picking something up and jamming it straight into his mouth. Now he actually takes time to focus on the object first — almost like he’s gauging if it’ll fit, then he jams it into his mouth.

…Diane, by the way, sleep walks when she hears Victor start fussing in his crib. It just happened. It’s kind of weird.

A few days ago Victor and I were hanging out for a few hours while Diane was working at the store, and he looked at me and made a noise like “dahdah” three times in about a second. Made my heart skip. Then he made car engine sounds for about five minutes.

Diane’s back in bed now. I asked her about the new foods but all I got was “mumblemum… ble”. We were in Ottawa on Saturday night for shawarma and to see “Inception”, so I just asked her “what’s the combination to the safe?”. Go see the movie and you’ll see why that’s funny.

Victor is also grabbing his toes now. He’s trying to bring them to his mouth, but his feet won’t cooperate. It’s like the bottom half and the top half just aren’t working together at all. Like they have their own agendas.

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Photo Of Victor’s Week:

Victor's photo of the week

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Posted in CSN:AFU Aboot Me, Entertainment, Family, Parenthood, Parenting, Vankleek Hill, Victor, Victor's Week In Review | Tagged , | 2 Comments

In a moment of dark irony armed robbers and a broken down bus full of Liberals cross paths near Vankleek Hill

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On Monday morning, July 12, around 10am, two armed men walked into the Proxim Pharmacy on Main Street, Vankleek Hill, and demanded prescription painkillers. The pharmacy was full of customers, but no one was physically hurt.

The two brainiacs left a few minutes later with enough OxyContin and HydromorphContin to make spending the next six years in jail, and giving a dozen innocent people night terrors for years, make sense, I’m sure.

The two very, very stupid men, were spotted by a local restaurant worker pacing between their car and the pharmacy for several minutes before the robbery. She knew something was wrong and when they left the crime scene, she quickly wrote down their licence plate number and called the police.

The cops stopped the car and arrested a man and a woman just outside Grenville, Quebec. There was no sign of the drugs, or of the second man.

Grenville is a village just across the bridge from Hawkesbury, Ontario, a small city where, just a day earlier, the Liberal Party of Canada dispatched their leader in a bus which would, after all the speeches were done, break down near Vankleek Hill, on it’s way to Cornwall.

Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff is on a cross-Canada bus tour giving Canadians one last chance to love him as much as the Liberal delegates at the leadership convention who voted him in as leader. No… wait, something about that feels wrong somehow.

So the Liberal Party of Canada dispatched their leader directly to the poorest region in Canada (off reserve), where he announces the policy initiatives which will be the cornerstone of his tour.

According to the official site for Julie Bourgeois, the poorly named Liberal candidate for Glengarry-Prescott-Russell, the topics for discussion in Hawkesbury included:

“The core message… is simple… a Liberal government will freeze corporate tax rates and generate savings of $5-6 billion a year. The Liberals will reinvest these savings in deficit reduction and initiatives that address the challenges we face as a country… including literacy, training and innovation; health, pensions and home care; clean energy, the environment and trade China and India.”

Here’s the connection between the two events. This is the poorest (again, off reserve) region in Canada. That means drug and alcohol addictions, that means mental illnesses go untreated, that means illiteracy and learning disorders, that means abuses.

And thanks to thirty years of successive federal and provincial governments all of that has become just a background hum around here. It’s the hum of power lines in the suburbs of Toronto and Ottawa. It’s always there, but eventually you just live with the smell of crack or weed or you just stop walking down certain streets.

This region started handing Don Boudria massive majorities starting in the Bronze Age and lasted until he retired a few years ago (1984–2006). For ten of those years he was one of Chretien’s most trusted MP’s. For most of those years he stayed up all night searching the archives for ways to defend his party during Question Period. He actually became known as “Binder Boy”.

For the thirteen years the Liberals were on the governing side of the House they could have at least attempted to fix Hawkesbury. Put together some kind of Provincial-Federal commission. But they didn’t. In fact, they made what had to be conscious decisions not to help the people in this region, the problems are that fucking obvious.

People in this country make fun of Americans because Washington DC is such a screwed up city, where just blocks from the White House you can pick up a hooker and coke for $20. First of all those people have never been to The Byward Market, but just travel another sixty kilometres east from Parliament Hill and the average income for single mothers is welfare.

Hawkesbury’s rate of low-income households — an income less than $20,000 / year — is over 20 percent. If an educated workforce is considered an essential investment in a community, only nine percent of people living in the small city of Hawkesbury have graduated from university, compared to 25 percent in Cumberland, a community halfway between Hawkesbury and Ottawa.

One in four people living in Hawkesbury live below the poverty line, toss in those people living at or just above the line, and almost 60 percent of the people living there are living paycheque to paycheque.

The Liberals had thirteen years (1993-2006) to fix something, anything, around here, but didn’t. And now their party is as fucked up as anything around here, and they’re coming to town in their broken down bus, asking us to vote them into power at the next opportunity so they can… what? Help us?

They came to the poorest piece of this country with nothing except the bullshit boilerplate from the pamphlet they’ll be leaving between our doors everywhere across this country, and what happens?

The Liberals get knocked off the front page of all six weekly papers in this region by two fuckups desperate for some hillbilly heroin.

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Sources: Wikipedia: Don Boudria, Jean Chretien, Paul Martin, Prescott-Russell; Official Site for Julie Bourgeois; The Review: “Hawkesbury and Cornwall residents have lowest incomes in Eastern Ontario”, “Armed robbery catches pharmacy, neighbours by surprise”, “Ignatieff bus stops in Hawkesbury, later breaks down”; Prescott-Russell Social Services

Disclaimer: I like Don Boudria, I’ve interviewed him twice and met him a few more times. My mother was a reporter, and later editor of the local paper when Don was first starting out, and they were on friendly terms for a long time. I don’t blame Don for the lack of initiative, but I do blame the thirty years of ineffective Provincial and Federal Governments. And I have no doubt I’ll be as pissed off with the lack of solutions when the Conservatives are replaced.

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Posted in Canada, Canadian News, Canadian Politics, Champlain Township, Eastern Ontario, Entertainment, Hawkesbury, Liberal Party of Canada, Politics, poverty, Vankleek Hill | Tagged , , | Leave a comment